Crashed Love

Venom

   I park my car and rest my head on the steering wheel, groaning with annoyance. I'm so tired and just want sleep.
   I stayed up half the night doing rush work on the report do today, Wednesday.
   I ooze out of my car, and lazily head to my friends.
   "Hey bitch" I sigh, wanting to sit down, but too tired to try and make it down.
   They all give me knowing looks "all nighter?" Steph asks with a healthy look of disgust.
   I look at her and give her a fake smile "raccoon attack"
   She gives me a smile as we all start laughing.
   "I'm sorry, I'm so tired"
   "Told you you'd regret doing the project by yourself" Melissa chymes.
   "Why did you break it off with Josh again?" Shaniqua asks.
   I look at Shaniqua for a second and pick at my purse strings then sigh "judgement time"
   I haven't told them about Sunday night. I haven't told anyone and to my surprise, Josh hasn't either.
   I thought he'd be bragging about the fact that he's barely been here a week and yet managed to do what others have have been trying to do for over three years now.
   He's tried talking to me or getting my attention a few times these past few days, but I kept ignoring him to the point where the girls are even wondering what could've possibly went down.
   And they're not usually the 'stick their nose in my business' type.
   They always give none subtle hints about the subject, though they know I'm going to act like they didn't ask.
   This was a weather or not they asked 'I'll never tell with a sain mind' kind of secret.
   "Wait, already, girl? Are you sure?" Shaniqua says, trying to keep up in her high heels.
   I look at her, a bit annoyed and she smirks, running off to tell others what time it is.
   We all walk to the Latino hang out, out back, a large crowd behind us as we make our deadly approach.
   Abel gets up to kiss me but I put my two fingers on his lips.
   He sigh "what's up, chika? You've been cold for the past few days. You know a guy need some tls"
   I look at him confused "what the fuck?"
   "Tender loving sex" he gives the guys near him a high five and I roll my eyes.
   "Sorry Abel..." I look around and notice Josh as he listens to his music, doing his best to ignore me.
   For some reason my stomach tightens and it takes me a second to breath it out "it's judgement day! Dating you for a week, which might I add is the shortest time in history for me dating someone, showed me everything about you"
   Some people giggle, making the moment a little embarrassing for Abel, not that he shows it outwardly.
   He grabs my arm, trying to pull me in closer "you sure you don't need any more time?"
   I take a step back from him with a smile. This time everyone chuckles as Abel's face drops and I look around the group again.
   This time Josh is actually looking at me. In fact, this time we make eye contact and my stomach tightens even more.
   I hold my stomach as I focus on Abel again "boy I see right through you like you're bathing in Windex! You act like you the OG Hispanic gangster when you're really a sweet, funny, nice, cute, and the most unsexist guy ever! You have a real problem when it comes to being horny and chivalry, but it's not something my perfect match for you can't handle"
   "Who'd you choose?" Josh asks.
   I cross my arms over my stomach with a tight grip, my nails digging into my skin as I fake a smile for everyone to see.
   "Abel" I make a point of saying his name "your perfect match is Sarah Queens. She may be a nerd but she knows how to have fun and wants sex as much as you do. Plus she could teach you a thing or two about how to treat a lady"
   I dig in my purse and take out my perfect match card, something I always created the night before judgement day.
   "Here's her picture, Facebook and first class"
   Abel smiles and then laughs "I have to say, I'm kinda happy it was such a challenge to put you to bed. It was fun playing with you Vicki, have a good one"
   I nod my head and flick my hair back over my shoulder "it was fun. I hope you and Sarah are happy. And if you have any issues, email me. I also couple counsel"
   Abel eyebrow ticks up "that's surprisingly nice of you"
   "It's an offer I extend to all of my matches, you'd be surprised about how many actually use my services"
   "Hey, Victoria" Lila calls.
   I wave goodbye to Abel and walk over to her with a gulp "Lila, I'm so sorry--"
   "Ey, don't worry. Forget Abel, I have a new interest these days"
   "Who?" I whisper, stepping closer to her.
   "Josh"
   My body stiffens and I clear my throat.
   "Unlike Abel, Josh likes to show off the fact he knows where the library is. This is his third book this week, one being a manga" she gushes.
   I look back at him as he stares down at his book. She was right, that was his third novel.
   Ever since he's gotten here, he's been breezing through the books in the library like they're going out of style.
   I turn back to Lila "how many girls are interested in him?" she smiles, probably hoping for a low numbers.
   I hold myself tighter "I... he has. I promised..." I take a step back as I start to feel sick "excuse me, I need to throw up"
   I run past everyone, pushing through the dispersing crowd, into the school and find the nearest girls bathroom, making it as far as the garbage can inside before I throw up my breakfast.
   I hear the door open behind me and my hair is pulled back "Vicki, are you ok?" Steph asks.
   I start throwing up again.
   "Elk, didn't need to see that" Shaniqua gags.
   I hear someone smack her and she makes a painful sound, pulling air in through her teeth.
   I finally stop after dry heaving a couple of times then move to the sink and wash out my mouth.
   Steph lest go of my hair while I dry my hands and mouth before I sit on the floor, exhausted.
   "Hey, what did Lila say to make you throw up?"
   I sigh "nothing... I just" I cover my mouth to stop the lie that was about to seep out and take a deep breath "she's the fifth person to take an interest in Josh in the past two days"
    "And that made you throw up that much?" Shaniqua scoffs, putting paper towel over my mess.
   "I promised him I wouldn't Cupid him" I try.
   "It has to be more then that" Steph consoles.
   "No, it's exactly that" I laugh "I got close enough to having a guy friend and I promised him something I only promised you guys because we're close. But I barely know Josh"
   "Ok, that's it" Melissa sits in front of me, staring hard "what the fuck happened between you and Josh Sunday? Did he do something?"
   "No"
   "Then why aren't you guys talking? You can barely even look at each other. You guys literally just made up for your fucking with his mind on Friday and now your back to strangers again?"
   "It's nothing!"
   Melissa pulls my arm out, exposing it to the others "yet you were digging your nails into your skin like your trying to defend yourself! What happened? Did he make a pass at you? Did he hit you?"
   "No!" I pull away my arm.
   "Then what the hell happened!"
   "We just had sex! Ok... we had sex..." The girls stare at me and Shaniqua starts looking through the stalls as Steph sits in front of me "did he rape--"
   "Oh, God no! I was asking for it" I sniffle "It was so nice. He was gentle and playful... till I ruined it"
   "I still don't get why you were throwing up" Shaniqua says after checking outside the bathroom door.
  "It wasn't exactly my first time... I--"
   "You weren't a virgin?" Shaniqua asks
   "I was!"
   "Then what the fuck you talking bout--"
   "Shaniqua" Steph says "I think she means she was raped before this..."
   "Oh..." Shaniqua finally joins us on the bathroom floor.
   "It's not that I don't want to because I am so into Josh and I'd love to have that kind of relationship with him"
   I pause for a second and look at the girls. They look at me completely shocked, their faces mirroring my inner feelings.
I clear my throat, as if discarding those last words "But every time I think of having sex, I think about that time and my stomach hurts so much"
   I start crying "it's not fair. The one time I trust a guy so much and it turns out like this. He was the first one to make me forget"
   "What made you remember this time?" Melissa asks.
   "I saw something that brought me back to earth" I sniffle.
   "Well I hope the ass hole who did that to you is rotting in jail, because you know me" Shaniqua shakes her head.
  I shake my head in shame "you guys are the first people I've ever told"
   "What? Vicki, you have to tell someone or the bastard wins"
   "It was so long ago--"
   "That doesn't matter, you should tell someone if it's still affects you this much" Steph says
   "Infact, you should do it the minute you get home" Shaniqua adds.
   Melissa puts an arm around my shoulders and we stay like this for a while till a couple of girls enter.
   Shaniqua stands, dusting off her ass "Ok, we need to do something about your fucking makeup cause class starts in three and I'm not good at being late"
   I stand and smile at Shaniqua, always the bitchy one.