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"reluctance"
forgetting it happened was the easy part, forgetting how it made me feel was impossible.
he infuriated me by trying to explain his feelings through a sexual act, of course i wanted actions, but i longed for a deeper connection.
i wanted to continue talking to him the way i did. i wanted him to show small signs, not jump at the chance to turn things sexually intimate.
but just thinking about it made me tingle all over again. he liked me, or at least i hoped he did.
i couldn't stop myself, i wanted to go and see him. izzy had already said he would be training today, just because he had no field work.
admiring him from the door looked creepy from a by passers point of view, but from mine he was gorgeous.
the way his body moved was truly angelic, not to mention his actual body was a bonus.
jace turned around, scrunching his golden hair back into his palm and catching my gaze.
i pretended to be horrified, quickly turning my head with a disgusted expression. "can you not train in clothes?"
"can you not watch something other than me?" jace shot back, hitting me with a touché.
it had not been awkward so far, because we were always surrounded by people. but now we were alone, just the two of us.
he kindly put a shirt on, shielding my eyes from him throughout our whole conversation would've been a challenge, if not tiring.
"did you need something?" jace looked to me curiously, his gaze meeting mine and enchanting me.
shaking my head, i pursed my lips. "i just came to return the seraph blade." no, i missed you. "it doesn't belong with me." i wish you did.
jace seemed to notice my inner struggle, but he kept his opinions to himself and took the seraph blade from me. "if that's it, you could have just given it to me the next time i sneak off."
"and have to stare at it from the corner of my eye? no thanks." i bowed my head, signalling my leave. "i've got to go."
"see you around." jace called after me, the awkward tension i had left behind me in the room was choking him.
_______
at night it was serene.
after spending hours on end with jena and romero, i couldn't wait to live for myself.
