Corren's Fight

Chapter Twenty-Three - Time

- Corren -

What were small intervals of time felt like days. Maybe days did pass; I didn't keep track of the clock. Miles and Jason checked on me before they left. I vaguely remembered my phone ringing a few times, but all I heard from my numb world was Jem's heart monitor. I didn't recall falling asleep, but I was awoken by a hard slap on the back of the head.

"Ah! What the-"

Jem was awake. He coughed then groaned in pain. "Wake up."

"Jem!" I hugged him lightly, careful not to apply weight to his abdomen.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm still alive!" He grumbled. "By the way, you have a friend looking for you."

"I know. He's been arrested."

"You wanna tell me why he wanted to shoot you?"

I told Jem everything, how I got into dealing and how we were almost caught. I told him how I worked to pay off my debt for Emily. I also told him how Tyson's guys might come after him and Emily as long as I was around. From start to finish all I could feel was guilt under Jem's sharp eyes. When I couldn't stop apologizing Jem stopped me.

"I'm very disappointed in you."

I stayed quiet, feeling unworthy to speak or agree with him.

"But... I'm also proud."

"How can you be proud when I'm the reason you almost died?"

"Still alive, ain't I? I"m proud because when you saw how stupid you were being you worked to get out right away. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear any of that concerning Tyson. But  I think we both know what comes next."

I looked at him.

"I'm sending you home Corren."

"You mean, back to the house?"

Jem sighed. "No. Back to your parents."

I froze. "Jem-"

"Don't. You said it yourself- no one is safe here anymore. Not you, not Emily, not me. Perhaps if you're gone for a while they'll forget, assume you left town and give up."

My mouth was dry. "H-how long would that take?"

"I'd give it a year."

A year.

The worst part (besides not being able to feel anything other than shock) was Jem was right. While he was sleeping, I skimmed over the same idea more times than I could count. I was only waiting for Jem's call. I couldn't fight him. This was what needed to be.

"You can't tell Emily..."

He seemed surprised, but nodded.

"What about you? Who's going to help you get around while I'm gone?"

"I'm sure they'll send a nurse home with me once I inform them of your absence."

So it was settled. It was only a matter of time.

When I checked my phone I saw the calls were in fact from Emily. I deleted the notifications. Jem was discharged three days later. We made an arrangement with the hospital for a nurse to check in everyday. I asked Miles and the guys to look at after Jem, just to visit every now and then to see how he was doing. They agreed to take turns visiting a few times a week. I bought my plane ticket online once I took Jem home. All that was left was the packing. Jem complained about his old truck suffering the loss of the front windshield. I offered to take it to a shop for replacement, but Jem waved it off. He said as long as his newer truck was unharmed it was fine.

I never thought packing could be painful. Sure, it was what needed to be done, but I didn't expect to relive so many memories of my time here. When taking the clothes from my dresser I noticed the china glass turtle Emily got me as a gift. When I skimmed through my bookshelf I caressed the spine of a poetry book Emily and I found over the summer; I decided to pack it. As I walked over to my nightstand I couldn't help but gaze over to the guitar from the cabin at the lake. Jem said I could keep it when I brought it home for him.

Once my clothes and mementos were placed neatly into my suitcase and backpack I sat on my bed, debating whether this was really happening or not. When I was able to convince myself this was reality I reached for the last thing. I picked up my pillow and felt inside the pillowcase. I pulled out the picture of Scott and I. I tucked it into my pocket and lifted my bags... but I couldn't bring myself to leave my room. I set my bags down and reached inside my nightstand. I took out a notebook and black pen and wrote.

Jem was in the living room watching a football game when I came down the stairs. He looked over. "Ready?"

"No, but this is probably as ready as I'll ever be."

He nodded and struggled to lift himself from the couch. I would have helped him, but he told me time and time again that he could do it himself. Jem slowly made his way over, a hand holding one side of his waist. He was grimacing in pain, but I pretended not to see it so I wouldn't hurt his pride. Jem walked me to the front door. I set one bag down and pulled out an envelope from my back pocket and handed it to Jem.

"Can you give this to Emily when she comes?"

Jem nodded and took the letter. "I will."

"Thank you."

I started to go, but Jem grabbed my shoulder. "I just want to say..." His eyes were a little red. "You showed me what it was to live again... You'll always be the son I never had."

I hugged Jem. "I'm going to miss you, Uncle Jem."

He hugged me with the arm not cradling his wound.  "I'm going to miss you too, Corren."

We let go. I carried my bags down the porch and threw them in the trunk of Jason's car. I got in the passenger's seat and shut the door. I looked back at Jem as Jason drove off. When the house went out of view I turned forward.

"Thanks for the ride." I said.

"No problem... You didn't tell Emily, did you?"

"You can't tell her either."

Jason didn't seem to like the idea, but he didn't refuse. "She's going to be heartbroken you know."

"I know."

"She thinks it's only temporary that you're not talking to her."

I remained silent, choosing instead to watch the trees pass by.

"How long are you going to be gone?"

"At least a year."

Jason let out a low whistle. "She's definitely going to be heartbroken."

"I know, dammit!"

Jason waited.

"I know she's going to find out eventually. I just want to delay hurting her as long as possible. Let her think I'm still in town. Let her think I'm going to be at school next week. She'll have hope until then."

"And then what? Let that hope shatter?"

"It's going to break her either way. I'd rather it be later than now."

"Why? If it's going to happen either way then why delay it?"

"Because if she was here right now I'd never be able to bring myself to leave."

"I see..." Jason said quietly.

An hour of depressing silence passed before we reached the airport.

"Thank you." I said to Jason again as I shut the car door.

He rolled down the window. "Come back... When it's over, you should come back to her."

I nodded. "I'm hoping to... If  she still cares."

Jason smiled half heartedly. "Trust me, she will. Love finds always finds a way. Believe me."

"I hope you're right." I turned away.

I boarded the plane when they finally called my flight. I didn't care what waited for me in Alaska. I didn't care about anything as I stared out the window while the pilot gave a speech on the intercom. All I could picture was Emily's face.