Love Me | Series Book #1

TWENTY NINE

I should've known.

I'd gotten to school an extra fifteen minutes early just to talk to him, but there was no chance of that happening now since he wasn't alone.

Maybe that's what he wanted from the beginning. For this talk to include her too. I couldn't even bare to look at her face let alone part my lips and speak to her. She had his attention all to herself, smiling up at him against his locker. I turned my back to them.

"Kaya," he called. But, I was already on my way.  I knew him well enough to expect what came next. I could hear his feet moving across the tiled floor behind me. He put a hand to my shoulder. I stopped.

"What is it, Chase?"

"I thought we were supposed to talk." His eyes scanned my face, trying to read contents in my head. But, unlike before he wouldn't come up with anything. I had more on my own mind than even I could decipher.

"You know what? I don't want to talk anymore. There's no point, so do what you want."

"Wait, what?" he steadied his hands around me. "Kaya, what the hell are you on right now?"

"Nothing Chase! Okay? I just don't appreciate being singled out in the lunch room. Obviously something that I did is bothering you, and now you decide you want to talk to me about it after you've already embarrassed me. And even now, I can't talk to you because it won't be just you that I'm talking to. We're supposed to be best friends right? Since when do we do this? We don't have these types of arguments.  And when we do, we keep it to ourselves."

My face was hot, my  throat tight. It was only after his expression changed that I knew I'd said to much. His face was frozen with eyebrows drawn close and his lips pressed together. I had to look away.

With my back to him, I walked in the opposite direction. He didn't try to stop me that time. I already regretted my words. As always I reacted too quickly. I didn't even realize that I was still angry about the cafeteria scene until I said so. This entire argument could have been avoided if I'd just waited to hear him out.

A part of me knew the real reason that I behaved that way. It was seeing her. Watching her smile and giggle at him that way. Using the same second face that she'd fooled me with. When I saw her, I heard her lies all over again. The same lies that I may have warned Chase about, if I'd only given myself just a second to cool down.

What was this?

I didn't behave like this. I'd never even raised my voice to him within the timeline of our entire friendship. Whatever it was causing this rift was coming from inside of me. It was me to blame, not him.

"Hey, I saw what happened back there." Rachel's voice came from behind me.

I continued on.

"Yeah, I know. A lot of people did."

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I will be."

"Kaya.."

"I'm sorry Rache. I have a lot on my mind right now. Everything's just so confusing, and I keep trying not to get hurt or hurt other people, but I can't figure out how or why this is happening. I don't know what to do and I'm just so tired-"

"It's okay," she took a stand in front of me. "Let's just go to class, and let everything figure itself out from there. Aly's making a coffee run during free period, so I'll ask her to pick you up a mocha cappuccino with extra cream and sugar."

I gave her the closest thing to a smile that I could muster.

"Thanks Rache."

"You'd do it for me."