Fuck Love

5th Chapter

Opening my eyes was surprisingly one of the hardest things I had ever done. It felt like I had been punched or *forgive me if this insensitive* I had been blind but now I could see. To emphasis that, the world's image in my eyes was almost upside down.

"Hey you're awake?" Oh that made sense now, I was lying down. I sat up next to Keith properly and rubbed sleep off my eyes.

"Oh Dee I'm so sorry..."My sister came out of nowhere and hugged me.

"Sorry about What?" Within a second I had jumped  to conclusions,"oh my word Brie don't tell me he's dead!" I abruptly stood up and went to peek through the ICU doors.

Brienna walked hastily towards me too and explained that he was still alive. I felt immensely relieved.
"Oh thank God." I went back to sit down next to Keith and closed my eyes as I continued to thank God for letting Jacque live.
"I need to talk to him,have you guys checked on him?"
My sister and Keith remained silent. They looked at each other in a way that was meant to be a secret but I happened to catch them.

Briena let out a huge sigh and whispered,"You can't talk to him right now Dee.." I slowly nodded. Completely understanding how he probably needed rest and all. But my sister carried on....
"Actually you might not be able to talk to him for a little while."

My heart dropped. "What do you mean? You said he's alright Briena, what..."

"Shhh,calm down." Keith put his arms on my shoulders in an attempt to calm me down,it worked for the most part as I ended up sitting down and keeping quiet for some time. However, I overthink. I always have been like that,in fact for some time only Jacque could make me forget that side of me. Oh God,please let him live,please God just give him another chance. Without even asking Keith let me cry on his chest,eventually my silent sobs drifted me off to unwanted sleep.

The doctors had explained to us that Jacque was in a temporary coma,all of us including Jacque's father, who at that present moment didn't look like the villain that his son always saw in him. If anything the widower seemed to fear nothing more than losing his son after everything else that had happened. I couldn't bring myself to console him,not when I constantly felt like I had failed his son. I still felt a huge amount of guilt. What was worse was that the doctors had mentioned that,naturally,there would be a chance that Jacque wouldn't make it. ''We'll do everything we can to try to keep him alive.'' Well that was some relief. Not.

After spending what seemed like centuries arguing,my sister and Keith had somehow convinced me to come back home. They said its what Jacque would want. But they were wrong,the reason he was even in the hospital in the first place was because I left him. I abondoned him when he needed me the most. My subconcious was enjoying its moment of 'I told you so'.

''You're going to have to eat something Dee. Please." Briena had been begging me to do so for the last two hours but had not been close to any success. I pushed the plate with a pulled chicken sandwich away from me. I couldn't eat, I didn't want to. How could I?
Briena's phone rang and she decided to leave the room to go answer it,probably because everyone was practically walking on eggshells around me,not that I blamed them. Even I felt like a walking time bomb. 

"Who was that?'' Kyrie asked as soon as my sister came back. She explained that it was her friends from last night asking if she could come help clean up and dare I say 'catch up'.

''You should go", she gave me a puzzled look,"you haven't hung out with your friends in ages Briena,don't hold back because of me.'' She remained silent which connoted that she was probably contemplating on the idea.
"Well at least do it for me? I am tired of you babying me,just go and have fun for a few hours,I'll still be as gloomy when you come back.'' We argued about it,of course,my sister and I can never seem to agree on anything. In the end she took up my offer and her boyfriend decided to tag along. So that meant I had to stay behind with Keith and I wasn't up for talking at all.