3AM Poetry (bxb)

1. Return

Having doubts about my future is an occasional thought that I know occurs within my mother's mind.

I mentioned multiple times that I did not want to be a lawyer like her but instead a Literature Teacher. She claims that becoming such isn't a profitable and suitable job for 'someone like me.'

Not because I'm gay, even though we still have enough problems with that already. It is because I am from a family full of people working for the law. So someone like me, who was born into such a family, it is only expected that I too become a slithering snake like them. But the thing is-

I won't.

"Jacqueline, you have such a lovely son! I may just have to give my niece to him." My mother came over while I was making light conversation with a lady who came up to me randomly. She just came over, showed me her pearly whites, and started talking to me like I knew her. Which in fact, I don't.

"Oh, well-" Before my mother became lost to find the right words to tell the lady I wasn't swinging on that tire, I cut myself in.

"I'm sorry ma'am, but currently I am not in search for that someone right now." I gave her a fake smile, which I know she took as sincere, and glanced at my mother who knew all too well how fake it was.

"Come Erin, let's go and talk to Johnathan." My mother said leaning close to her ear, "I heard he is single." She whispered into her ear.

The look in the lady's eyes changed into eyes filled with lust and desire for conquest. "Well I'd love to talk to him. Thank you for the talk darling. You let me know when you are ready to find that certain someone." And then she was off with my mother, toward some old man who screamed money.

I sighed walking towards the exit. I already spent enough time at this meaningless party. I needed some free air. But unfortunately a little bug named Adrian stopped in front of my path with a ridiculous victory smirk.

"Owens, Owens, Owens. What a surprise." He stated in a monotone voice. He tried grabbing my wrist but I stepped back swiftly. He looked slightly annoyed but that is always the goal I aim for when I see his wretched face.

He chuckled, regaining his posture, which made it my turn to be annoyed. "So, Owens, I heard you are returning to the states tomorrow. I heard you are also going to be a senior at your old school." He said grinning ear to ear. This bastard. He knows what happened back there. And bringing it up doesn't suit my temper.

- flashback -
"Why are you even dating him?" He pats my wound around my cheek area. It's completely bruised. It's going to be hard explaining this to my dad.

"You know why. I love him." I said looking in his eyes, pleading him that he just understands.
"But does he love you?"

- end -
"Thanks for making me remember painful memories Adrian. Now if I recall, you have a girlfriend you won't screw and a family you hide from." I blow him a kiss and make my way to the exit. Even with my back turned to him, I knew exactly what expression was on his face. And it is the funniest thing to think about.

I walked out for the building and towards my car. But nothing was stopping my overflowing thoughts.

- - -
"Do you have everything?" My mother asked. Right now I was on a phone call with her waiting for my flight to be called. Although I ignored the last five calls, I accidentally picked up this one.

"Yes. I do." I replied. There was only silence on her end till she finally spoke. "You know I'm doing this for you?"

Yeah right.

Only reason I was going back to that place is because mom was getting married and I knew she didn't want me around. I heard her talking on the phone about it. But she insists that its better I live with my dad.

I guess this was to be expected. I mean when she left she didn't want anything to do with the me in the first place.

But I don't mind moving in with my dad. In fact I prefer it since he's the one who doesn't care about my sexuality and is somewhat supportive of my dream. It's just I hate that town so much.

So freaking much.

"Yes ma'am." I said and soon after the line went dead. Sometimes I wish I could be a pointless rebellious teenager but I guess 'abiding' is in my blood. Hilarious.

'Flight to Tampa, Florida now boarding."

I sigh, preparing my self for the long flight back to the one place that I never thought I would return to.

- - -
"Rise and shine! You are starting at your old high school! Aren't you excited?" My dad shakes me with a sincere smile on his face. But his smile only deepens the pit growing in my stomach.

I can't blame him for not knowing I was internally dreading my return. I told except Adrian, and that was already a mistake on my part. Which made it harder when I asked him I wanted to live with mom and gave him no explanation. He looked so happy when I came to the front door last night. I don't deserve such a caring dad.

I don't.

"I made breakfast so be down in a few." He exclaimed happily. I watched as he closed my door and finally rose from my ever loving bed.

I walked over to my closet picking out simple clothing items to wear. A dark blue shirt with long regular jeans and to top off the simplicity I wore some white vans.

I walked down the stairs noticing some breakfast on the table and a note right beside the plate. The breakfast was some slightly burned chocolate chip pancakes and some strawberries next to it. The note said 'Had to leave. Make sure you eat!' I sighed looking back at the food. I seriously had no appetite but I hate to waste. I grabbed the plate and wrapped it in aluminum foil, since it was the only thing I could find, and placed it in the fridge. I'll eat it later just to clear my conscious.

I grabbed my bike getting ready to start off towards the school I would be reminded of so many hatful memories, but I was stopped.

"Noah?"

I froze. I didn't think I'd be recognized so fast.

"You're Noah right." I heard a slight hostility in the girls voice and that made it even harder for me to turn around and face, whoever this girl was.

She gripped into my shoulder with her long manicured nails and I was flipped around to face her.

I took in her appearance. She had blonde hair with really dark blue eyes that pierced through me. She was almost the same height as me but she was certainly skinny. She didn't seem familiar. Not until I looked at where a familiar gold necklace was wrapped around her neck.

"Yeah it's me. Maria."

- flashback -

I held the books close to my chest walking past Maria and her group of friends. She looked over at me and smiled.

"Noah!" She ran over to me jumping on me, almost causing me to stumble over.

"Noah have you seen my stupid boyfriend?" I felt a pang of guilt and just lowered my head, shaking it no.

"I swear I will kill him and his stupid little brother." She said sighing releasing from her hold. She smiled at me again and I tried to give her a sincere one back.

"Alright see you later Noah!" She said heading back towards her friends who all looked at me weirdly, per usual. It was a common look since they wondered why I was friends with the golden boys of this school. Sometimes, I wondered that myself sometimes.

- end -
She scoffed. I could see this mix of pain and hatred on her face."Why? Why is the faggot who took my love away from me, here. Why!?" She yelled in my face digging her nails in deeper. I closed my eyes taking in deep breaths.

I opened them and she was still there. So I did what I do best.

I ran away.

-/-/-/-

A/N:
Wow, first chapter. Let me know what you think. I had a different mindset when originally planning it but yea. Thanks for reading!

- slow updates -