Foxy X Reader (Yiff, Yiff, Yiff!)

Clorox Bleach: The Anime

It was just another night at Freddy Fazbear's shitty Pizza. Why? Because the pizza fucking sucks, that's why. You can blame Donald Trump for that.

Today was my first time on the job. You can call me Mike Schmitt, also known as the wanted wood chipper for murdering five children! Aha hahaha! JK,  I didn't do it! My dad did! Hopefully getting a boner from dead children doesn't run in the family!

Now, what if I told you Mike Schmitt was not just a security guard? No, I'm way more than that! My real name is Chipper, and I am the dominant animal of this workplace! I will make all the animatronics my bitches like the pimp I am!

So I walk in through the front door and I say to myself, "I am going to sit in that office all goddamn night, even if it kills me!"

So I went and sat down in the office and immedialty begin spinning my mesmerizing 1000 dollar, gold plated sugar daddy fidget spinner. It was a limited edition too, so I'm glad I got it!

While I'm busy being a complete and utter fucktard, the animatronics can't help but hear the alluring sound of my autistic venting device. They begin groaning and make a sudden sound resembling that of a asthma attack.

Bonnie quickly teleports to the side closet to my left and begins having stroke. Wondering what this horrible sound could possibly be, I boot up my Nintendo Switch and begin monitoring the cameras.

I finally land on the camera in the closet and find Bonnie twitching like a fucking spaz. Or maybe it was a orgasm. Hell if I know.

"Fuck off!" I yell through the left door.

"Fuck you!" Wheezed Bonnie as he pulled out his inhaler and teleported away.

*CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT INTENSIFIES*

Next up was Chica, the fat clucking monstrosity that scares the shit out of anyone within a seven mile radius of this damned installation. She was the reason Freddy Fazbear's is buried several 100 yards underwater! It was no wonder we don't get any customers down here! Well, except that one purple guy who was always jacking off in the bathrooms. He reminded me of my dad in a way, but it can't possibly be him because my dad is definitely not a undead pedophile.

Chica was easy to deal with. She was a total feminist. If you said "men" just once, she would run off into the distance screaming like a bitch. She was always trying to circumsize the customers, so we had to lock her up for a bit in the spare parts room.

After dealing with that problem, I was rattled awake by the Darude Sandstorm remix eminating form Nokia brick of phone. Irritated, I picked answered the stupid call.

"HELLO!? HELLO!?! ARE YOU GAY?!?"

"NO!," I screamed. "I sexually identify as a Wood Chipper!"

"DO YOU WANT PORN VIRUSES? THEY COME IN THREE DIFFERENT VARIETIES! ANAL, ORAL AND FURRY! EVEN BETTER, THEY ARE COMPLETELY FREE FOR THE CHEAP PRICE OF SEVERAL 1000 FAZTOKENS!"

"Furry?!" I exclaimed. "Shut up and take my money!"

***

After that awkward episode I finally fell asleep. I was fed up with Phone Guy's dumb bullshit about how Bronies are the byproduct of alien experimentation on interdimensional anime timelords.

I was jolted awake from my sleep when I heard a knocking on my door. I slowly peered out the window to the left to see Foxy standing there, a small attack helicopter drone gracefully ascending from the heavens like some holy angel. It was love at first site.

"Let me inside of you," it whispered from the other side.

"OH hell yes!" Without hesitation I opened the door and readied my premium lube and Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!

"HARDER!"

"YES, HARDER!"

"TWIN TURBINES ACTIVATE!"

"WOOOOOOOO!"

And so begins the 69th annual Hunger Games! DON'T GET PREGANTANT!