19. Life & Instagram

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"Hey babygirl." He kisses the top of my head and squeezes me with the same force I squeeze him with,"Didn't think you liked me this much."

"I just really want to thank you for inviting me. You don't get what it means not to be alone again like my last birthday." I say forgetting the feeling of the lonely birthday I had last year.

"Oh fuck right." He says pulling back and picking me up despite his bony body,"Happy Birthday!" He says before setting me down.

I chuckle, before I scoop my camera in my hand and raise it up,"I'm ready to take some photos."

"Your not here to work. " He says crossing his arms.

"I know it's silly, but," I say slowly,"This is all I've wanted to do."

He smiles and looks down at the camera,"Okay then, do what you fucking please." Matt gestures for me to follow him,"Come meet my weird ass friends now."

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He introduces me to lil Aaron as they only called him, his friend Derek, Jamal, Tarina, Sam, stage management, his soundcheck advisers, etc.

I sit on the floor in the dressing room everyone is in but I can't help but feel intimated by everyone else around me. I was just the meme girl.

Bear nudges me with his leg and I look up,"Bored?"

I shake my head,"No."

"Good," He says,"then show me watch you got."

I raise my camera, "Alrighty mate." I say quietly.

-

iamblackbear; she came prepared 40

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iamblackbear; she came prepared
40.4K LIKES | 8,090 COMMENTS
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username1; bro who took this

iamblackbear; can't tag them username1

charlemagneswine; my friend is amazing ✨

username2; probably venus.mcvee username1 saw her on line for the show and then she was gone 🤷‍♀️

username3; that girl is hella cool tho can't lie ^

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Matthew changes later and gets ready for the show once the opening acts gets on stage.

I wait with him, taking as many pictures to remember the night when I wasn't alone.

"Don't you ever get nervous before shows or anything?" I say as I lean against a spare amp backstage.

"Nah, not really." He hopes onto the amp I lean on and holds a drag between his mouth,"I mean I just got nervous if the lights or too bright."

I try to not show my disgust when I smell the cigarette,"What do you mean?"

"PTSD is a bitch." He laughs. I'm about to ask more yet he changes the subject,"You look really fucking good tonight."

I blush,"Thanks I guess." I coward my head down and he clicks my shoe with his own.

"Kinda funny how you didn't want anything to do with me and now your here."

I shrug,"The power of social media man." I smile and I look back up at him to see he is doing the same.

I have a hard time holding his stare because he is obviously thinking something so I look away and cross my arms.

"Hey, can I take you out for your birthday tonight?"

"It'll be a little late, don't you think?"

"What are you turning fucking eighty? No it's not to late."

I roll my eyes,"Fine sure. Take me out tonight. Why not?"

He smirks that signature smile and I want to push him off the amp because I'm only swooning for five percent of him and that's still pretty high.

"Ah look it's my cue baby girl." Matthew looks at me expectantly,"No good luck?"

"Break a leg." I say loudly as he begins to walk away.

He blows me a kiss and I dodge it which makes us both laugh.

Yeah, this is better then sitting in my bed watching how I met you mother and crying over the people who believe I still am a burden. Yeah, I think one more time, this is a whole lot better.

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