The Window

Chapter One: I Felt Happiness

Luna wasn't so happy with that part. She loved princesses and princes. And she kept asking if  Roger was ever going to be a prince again. He wasn't. 

                                                             ******

When Roger took that big, big step, he decided to start writing his story. It felt weird at first. But he remembered what Gwen used to always tell him, "If you want it, get it. If you like it, do it". And he wanted to do it, so he just did it. And this was chapter one of his story:

After eighteen years of living in vain. After years of depression with no tendency to heal. After believing in hope. Believing in it as a myth. After losing faith in finding anyone to make me happy, and losing faith in myself. I found her. Gwen Smith. The girl who loves sciences. The girl who loves reading. The girl who i met in first year of university. The girl who isn't a princess. The girl who is a princess. When i first saw her, i just felt relieved. She saw me sitting all alone in a cafe. She walked towards me and said, "Hello, can i sit?", "Good afternoon. Yes". She sat down. I was reading a book. It was the only way i could forget sorrow. Not even my dreams helped me- they were all nightmares of my parents and siblings and the society i live in. She was probably solving something. But then, she closed her books and looked at me. I saw her from the corner of my eye. "Can you be any more boring?", she said. I didn't reply. "What is it you're reading?", she asked. I decided to reply, " The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nighttime". "One long title", she said, "One good book", i replied, "Was published last week", i added. Then, she kept looking at me, so i understood. I put aside the book and looked at her, avoiding eye contact. Then, "Stop avoiding my eyes", she said smiling. I smiled, "I won't deny i was". "Who are you?", she asked with deep eyes. "Roger Edmond", i replied shortly. She laughed then said, "Not your name silly", then she repeated, "Who are you?". I smiled, i liked the question, and what impressed me more is that she didn't know i was prince Roger Edmond, or at least she didn't mention it. I answered, "I'm an eighteen years old fellow who sinks in words and really wants a miracle". "Puzzling answer. Why do you want a miracle Roger Edmond?", she asked. I replied with a question, "Why would anyone want a miracle, Miss..?", "Smith, Gwen Smith. Because they want to be happy", she answered sharply. "Accurate. I like the way you answered", I said, "What way?", she asked, "You seemed confident", i answered, she smiled, i smiled back. After moments of silence , she said, "You mentioned that you sink in words", i said, "I surely did, yes", " You mean that you read and write a lot, right?", she asked, i answered, "Accurate". "Can you tell me something of what you write?", she asked politely, i answered politely, too, "Of course". I took a breath, then, " On my head there's gold. Just like my father. It looks like a parade everyday- crowded crowd. I search but i can never find. No one's in under the ceilings. It's dull. I always see myself in the mirror. Only the mirror. The mirror that started to dislike me just like the crowds under the ceilings do. When i used to pray, i used to always question: Am i meant to be here? I stopped praying. He didn't answer me. They say he answers all our questions, yet he didn't answer mine. Not any of mine. Hope used to visit me in my dreams. Nightmares sat on the throne. Nightmares allow no hope to enter. I grew older. Just like the sorrow, it grew bigger. I felt all sorts of pain. Yet, nothing was more painful than feeling numb". Again, silence took over. Then  she said, "Sad. Lemme fix it for you". I was a bit shocked, "Fix it ?!", i asked, i didn't like people to mess with anything that belonged to me. "You were reading it from a piece of paper, i saw you. So i can fix it, i don't have to remember what you said. The paper is right here". I wasn't feeling so comfortable about the idea, yet, and i don't even know why or how i agreed, i gave her the paper. She smiled at me, then she went on "fixing" the piece of writing. After minutes, she had finished. "Done! I'll read it aloud,okay?". Then she proceeded without waiting for my "okay" back. "In my head there's gold. Just like my soul. It looks like a parade everyday-crowded crowd. I search and i always find. Everyone smiles under the ceilings. It's beautiful. I always see myself in others. Maybe others don't know. Those crowds under the ceilings like me without even knowing me. When i pray, i always thank him. I feel like i'm meant to be here. I didn't stop praying. He gifted me that life. They say he always answer our questions. He did answer mine. All of them. But I had to look for the answers. Hope used to visit me in my dreams. My dreams came true. Hope came true. I grew older. Just like hope, it grew bigger. I felt all sorts of pain. Yet, nothing could affect me as much as happiness did". She looked at me with a smile that seemed permanent, then asked, "So? What do you think?". If to be honest, i loved it, but, "Too much positive. Far from reality. But it's okay". " 'okay'! I thought you'd like it more", she said. "Compliments are lies. And I don't like lies", i said. She laughed. Then he phone buzzed, she looked at it, "Oh, i have a class. Meet later?", "Why not". She smiled and said goodbye, so did I.
For the first time in years, I felt actual happiness.