A Beautiful Boyfriendship

Chapter Nine: A House is Not a Home

Hey everyone! Congrats to KurtsieExtreme for winning the Whitney challenge! The reference was the title of the song Blaine sang, "It's Not Right But it's Okay," which Chris says to Darren in the previous chapter.

This chapter has been festering in my brain for a while, even before I finished that last one, so enjoy!

Sadly, I don't own anyone. All Glee rights belong to Ryan Murphy and Fox.

-CC

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Monday evening, just after 9:00

Chris's car

Home.

That was the only coherent thought in Chris's jumbled brain. Sure, there were plenty of other thoughts bouncing around in there, but he knew if he allowed himself to examine any piece of the day's drama he'd break down in the middle of the highway. So he'd let himself dump all of the pain and sadness into a box labeled 'Darren" in the recesses of his mind and was distracting himself by quoting useless information.

The ratio of Fibonacci numbers is 1:1.618.

Grape juice and vinegar can replace wine in shrimp scampi.

Elizabeth I's coronation robes were hand-me-downs from her late sister's coronation.

Back to home. Chris knew there was only one place that he could go that he knew he could stay for as long as he wanted, indefinitely maybe. One place where Darren had no influence over him, one place where he could calmly--well, maybe not calmly, but analytically--examine their relationship and decide what to do.

Clovis, California.

He hadn't stayed at his house in years. There were just so many bad memories, from being tampon-bombed in homeroom to just plain old mean comments in the halls:  why would he ever want to go back when he had Glee and Darren? But now he didn't have Darren, and he knew Ryan would be able to remove him from Glee's cast if need be. And there were reasons to go back. Three, actually.

His mom, Karyn; his dad, Tim; and of course, lovely Hannah, his younger sister and only sibling.

Chris knew that he could go home and be loved unconditionally and irrevocably, unlike Darren's brushing aside of his feelings. Although he promised himself he wouldn't think about this until he got home, Chris allows himself to remember the events leading up to his impromtu flee to Clovis.

*

After Darren  left and, albeit unknowingly by Chris, fled to his car, Chris flopped onto his back on the trailer's couch. Darren had lied. To him, the person he was supposed to be the closest to. Chris's heart was torn to shreds. He'd loved Darren, he really had. But he didn't know if he loved him now.

Chris knew he needed time to sort through all of the crazy emotions he was feeling. He just didn't know where.

Their house was definitely out, for obvious reasons. He needed to come to a decision on his own, with no pressuring from Darren. Amber and Ashley would gladly take him in, he knew, but their apartments were inconvenient for similar reasons. Where would he go? Chris figured he'd just cross that bridge when he came to it.

After about half an hour of wallowing in self-pity and fighting off tears, Chris cautiously poked his head out of the door to his trailer. Lunch was ten minutes from being over, so Chris knew most, if not all, of the cast was gathering in the auditorium for the weekly meeting. He felt kind of bad for just up and leaving with no explanation, but he felt that if he was missed enough, Darren could tell everyone why he'd left.