teach [yoonkook]

[chapter 5]

Jungkook didn't normally have dramatic realisations that occurred in dreams. He had his life sorted and laid out in front of him daily. To not know something about how he felt was foreign. He knew what made him sad, what made him happy but he didn't know what it was that made one fall in love.

For most of his life, he believed that you needed a reason to love someone. Maybe it wasn't immediately noticeable - the reason - but there would be one.

Now, he believed there was no reason to love. One is loved because one is loved.

He awoke with a start.

No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that the kiss was a dream, he couldn't get rid of the very vibrant and real memory of Yoongi kissing him.

He pushed himself off the bed noiselessly and directed himself to the kitchen where Jimin stood near the sink, pouring himself a glass of water. He smiled when he turned around.

After Jungkook had settled with a milk box at the island, Jimin asked, "He kissed you?"

"Well," he started. "I might've kissed him, he might've kissed me but the point is we kissed."

Jimin laughed. "I see..."

"I don't," Jungkook whispered, wringing his hands together.

"Try. It's kinda obvious."

Yoongi woke up a little later in a cold sweat and the lingering feeling of Jungkook's lips on his. He felt like tearing his hair out and yelling into his pillow but refrained for Jin's sake; the poor guy had to carry more than a few drunk kids into the cars after the night was over.

He turned on his bedside lamp and tried to calm himself down. It would do him no good if he ruined his streak of sleeping well yet the covers were discarded and Yoongi did his best not to wince at the cold of the floor against his bare toes. He didn't bother trying to turn on the hallway lights and went straight to the kitchen where he was surprised to see the light already on.

"...it explains a lot, though. I tried to get as close to him as possible. I wanted to know more about him and be his friend. It makes sense but-"

"But you have to consider him." There was a pause before Jimin spoke again. "So you like Yoongi-hyung?"

It was like Yoongi could hear Jungkook's eye-roll. "Obviously."

"And?" Jimin urged.

"And he doesn't like me."

Yoongi would've laughed in any other situation. It was beyond amazing that Jungkook thought he didn't like him - friend or more. The only reason he'd ever really distance himself from the younger was when he couldn't stand his attraction to him. He'd do everything to get his mind off him - ignoring him being one of the methods - so at the same time, he understood. He understood why Jungkook thought he didn't like him. It was simply that Yoongi was a cold, unmoving character so when someone did move him, he became even colder.

Jimin laughed again. "Who said that?"

"I just know. Maknae instinct."

That doesn't exist, Yoongi thought. And either way, he's wrong.

"Sleep, Jungkook, you're talking nonsense."

Yoongi heard Jungkook's footsteps coming from the kitchen but he didn't have anywhere to hide. He knew if he didn't have an excuse, Jungkook would assume that he'd heard everything. Jungkook caught his eye and froze comically.

"Hyung?"

Yoongi folded his arms and tried not to think about the kiss. "Hey."

Jungkook looked away, wanting to tell Yoongi everything in the blink of an eye. He doubted he could express all of it in coherent words but he'd try his best. When he opened his mouth, however, his voice caught in his throat.

"Speak. It's alright." Yoongi said.

Jungkook shook his head. "It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

So he tried not to.

-

Jin felt sick when he made breakfast for his members. Yoongi and Jungkook were the first ones up. They sat at other ends of the table, avoiding each other like the plague. He'd given up by his fifth try to get them to talk to each other and retreated to his room to get ready.

Whatever it was that happened between Yoongi and Jungkook needed to figure itself out because neither of them would do it.

Later in the day, Jimin felt like slapping Jungkook out of it. He constantly dazed off and left to the bathroom where Jimin heard him sobbing softly.

For the most part, they had to linger around the studio and practice room. Jungkook became glued to Jimin and Yoongi to Jin and they wouldn't look each other in the eye. Even Hoseok knew it would be best if they kept their distance. They didn't look particularly mad at each other but it seemed like they were on the verge of breaking and that they would if they said something. For Jungkook, it hurt beyond anything; he felt that he was forever caught in a loop of unreciprocated love. Every time he looked at Yoongi, he felt his heart swell magnificently and his eyes blur with tears.

He never thought some stupid question would lead to all of this.

In a way, he didn't regret it. He got closer to Yoongi and learnt more than he ever thought he'd know about him. Yoongi helped him when Jimin was acting up around him. He remembered when they went out, planned things they knew would never happen - like that damned skewer shop - and cried together during a sad movie which Jungkook couldn't remember the name of. 

He remembered when Yoongi surprised him with a new pair of headphones and Jungkook was absolutely dumbfounded.

He remembered when he asked Jin to help him make 'sugar cookies' for Yoongi when he came back from a short trip to Daegu.

He remembered and he wouldn't forget, he could tell you that much.

It was only when a frail hand reached for his cheek that he realised he was crying.

Yoongi sat in front of Jungkook on the practice room floor and wiped his tears away, avoiding his direct gaze.

"Jungkookie..."

"I'm sorry, hyung. I'm a coward and I do stupid things like falling in love with people I shouldn't fall in love with."

Jungkook didn't even care that he'd confessed. He wanted to close this chapter of his life as soon as possible, try to forget ever falling in love with Yoongi's beyond adorable smile. After a pause, Yoongi asked in a weak voice, "Do you regret ever meeting me?"

Jungkook took Yoongi's hands in his - which were equally cold - and squeezed them reassuringly. "Never."

"I came here to ask you something, Kookie."

"Go ahead," Jungkook said, preparing himself for the hell he was sure would come.

"You know that offer? That you'd teach me something?" Yoongi looked off, biting his lip nervously. Jungkook stayed still.

"Yes, I know."

Yoongi looked directly into Jungkook's eyes.

"Teach me to love."

-

a/n: the quote 'one is loved because one is loved' is from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. it's a stunning book, you guys should read it.