Gerard, almost unable to stand from the pain, finally was able to get back to the skate park, where he was greeted by his friends who gave him more drugs.
"Please, just let it be over." he whimpered in a flood of tears.
Soon, it was his 17th birthday and he was woken by his family with breakfast in bed.
"Happy birthday, darling," his mom smiled. She looked at him with a sad look on her face. "Are you okay? After what happened all those months ago..."
"Mom, i'm fine. I'm human, i have problems. But they're all over now," he reassured her, hiding the fact he had cut himself just last night.
"I'm just glad I have my family around me." he smiled. "When you have your family around you, you're fine."
He looked down at his wrists, he had damaged them so much the scars would never fade.
Gerard was happy. Until he remembered, he had school.
"It's attention seeker's birthday!" one of the bullies said.
"17 years ago today, ugliness and gayness was born!" another laughed.
He tried to ignore them by walking with his eyes on the ground, but one jumped in front of him.
"No one cares about you! You're ugly, fat, irrelevant, stupid, untalented, and you're a freak! You haven't got ANY friends, so why don't you go back to your cave and slit your wrists. Why don't you just hang yourself!" Jonah sneered.
Why don't you just hang yourself.
Gerard ran home.
Why don't you just hang yourself.
His parents were at work and Mikey was at school, he had time to end it.
Why don't you just hang yourself.
When he arrived home, he paced up in tears to the bathroom.
Why don't you just hang yourself.
Shuddering, he scavenged through his hiding box.
Why don't you just hang yourself.
He took a huge handful of pills and swallowed them.
Why don't you just hang yourself.
He cried like he had never cried before and stared deep into the mirror.
"I AM ugly. I AM fat. I AM irrelevant. I AM stupid. I AM untalented. I AM a freak. I HAVEN'T got any friends - not since Derek left me. I WILL go back to my cave a slit my wrists..."
"I need something to save me."
He took a chair and placed it into the middle of the bathroom.
The rope in his hand, all he had to do was tie it to the ceiling fan, wrap it around his neck and jump.
Its THAT easy just to end it all. What reason did he have to stay alive anyway?
His eyes didn't leave the mirror for a second.
He stood on the chair and tied the rope to the ceiling fan. Then, he slid his face inside the loop. Thousands of thoughts ran through his mind, he had considered doing this for years. Nevertheless, he could hear Derek telling him not to. But, if he did this, he could leave this shitty world and go to be with Derek.
It was either; end it all - or be living in constant pain for the rest of his life.
The choice was easy.
"I WILL hang myself."
SUICIDE HOTLINES:
Argentina: +5402234930430
Australia: 131114
Austria: 017133374
Belgium: 106
Botswana: 3911270
Brazil: 212339191
Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal)
China: 85223820000
Croatia: 014833888
Denmark: +4570201201
Egypt: 7621602
Finland: 040-5032199
France: 0145394000
Germany: 08001810771
Holland: 09000767
India: 8888817666
Ireland: +4408457909090
Italy: 800860022
Japan: +810352869090
Mexico: 5255102550
New Zealand: 045861048
Norway: +4781533300
Philippines: 028969191
Poland: 5270000
Russia: 0078202577577
Spain: 914590050
South Africa: 0514445691
Sweden: 46317112400
Switzerland: 143
United Kingdom: 08457909090
USA: 18002738255
YOU ARE READING
I Need Something To Save Me (Gerard Way/MCR)
Fanfiction***TRIGGER WARNING*** Gerard has struggled with metal issues and bullying, but will he be able to overcome this? And how?
