I lost my virginity.
In truth,
I didn't want to lose it like this.
I only did it so he wouldn't leave.
He left.
10:59 PM
7/4/17
I always wondered what you tasted like.
Now I know.
I wish I'd never wondered.
11:05 PM
7/4/17
I fucked you out of my heart until there was nothing left.
Not a drop of blood.
Not an ounce of muscle.
Not a beat of you.
11:12 PM
7/4/17
Strip away my petals,
And I'm a yellow-brown,
Yellow from the happiness,
But brown from its expiration.
Strip away my core,
And there's nothing beautiful.
My core is blank.
I,
am blank.
Strip away my blankness,
You'll find my deep dark secrets,
Which will crumble like pollen,
And fall.
Strip away my petals,
Strip away my core,
Strip away my blankness,
And I'll be no more.
11:21 PM
7/4/17
Why can't I erase you?
I only ever write in pencil.
Have you stained the paper?
No,
You've stained me.
But I can cover you in ink,
Coat you in blue,
'Til you're nothing but an indent,
An outline in my paper that's been left behind.
11:25 PM
7/4/17
Scars never go away.
No,
they just get covered by deeper, harsher, more permanent ones.
11:26 PM
7/4/17
When did you have my heart in the palm of your hand?
Beating restless against the warm callus of your skin.
When did you give me yours?
I never felt it between my fingers.
Why didn't you give me mine back?
Why did you squeeze it so hard?
Why did you crush it like sand,
Only to let it spill from the gaps in your fingers and blanket the floor?
You couldn't have the decency to keep the broken pieces, even.
But I'm unfixable now.
Not even Gorilla Glue can save the mess you've made.
11:40 PM
7/4/17
I'm nothing.
Nothing but an empty shell of you.
11:16 PM
7/4/17
