Joshler Moments

Iris

"How come you can never love me with your mask, off?" Josh asks Tyler, who stands inches away from him in their dressing room, red suit, black hands, and ski mask. The first time they ever kissed, Tyler walked up to him without a word, wearing his balaclava, took his face between his hands and kissed him. Ever since then, he won't so much as cuddle him without it. His tries not to ask, because he knows Tyler copes in strange ways sometimes, but it's wearing on him. He just wants to look into his eyes. He just wants to taste his lips unhindered. He just wants to feel his skin and his stubble underneath his fingertips . Is that too much to ask? He thinks back to the moments when they were fresh-faced and a thousand miles from famous, and he'd dream of kissing Tyler and he always thought Tyler would never feel the same. He'd lay his head on his pillowcase and feel every inch of distance between him and Tyler heavy on his chest. He'd always picture them triumphant when he dreamed, kissing under confetti with flashing lights all around them and thousands of voices cheering. But now they kiss in darkened rooms with a mask between their faces, doors shut and locked.

"Because... It's a metaphor." He says pressing his masked forehead against Josh's. "Josh... I... I wish I could. Believe me, I do. But they won't understand us, Josh. They can't understand me. We wear these masks everyday, to hide who we are and what we do because we're afraid of what would happen if they knew. This is the same as that. It's just something you can see and feel." Tyler replies, like it will suddenly make sense to him, but it doesn't. He knows they've agreed not to tell anyone about what they do when the doors  are shut and the lights are off. What they do when no one can see them. Who they are. How they're so in love that sometimes Josh doesn't even know how he's going to be able to keep hiding it like this. 

"But, Tyler, it doesn't have to be. I know... I know what it's going to look like, but maybe we can show them who we really are." Josh says, most of him not even believing his own words.

"Josh, you know we can't do that. You know why."  Tyler replies, brushing their lips together, they breath in each other's air.

"I know... But please, Tyler,  for me, can you take off the mask? There doesn't need to be any metaphors here, anything between us, any hiding. If this is the only place we can be ourselves around each other, then we need to be fully that. This needs to be the place where we can laugh at the odds, and love each other recklessly." Josh says, and Tyler pulls away, turning his back to Josh. He reaches his hand behind his head and rests it there for a minute before slowly pulling the white mask off his head and letting it fall to the ground. He turns around to face Josh with a soft smile and eyes a little uncertain, like it's their first time and he's got feelings he doesn't quite know what to do with, hair tousled from the mask. Tyler looks younger right now. Like Josh remembers him when they first met, with eyes that say a million things he didn't know how to, and lips that curl up like they want to be all over his body. Tyler stands there, waiting for a response from him. He steps forward, cupping Tyler's face between his hands, stroking his thumbs along his cheekbones. This. This makes every disappointment worth it. He kisses his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, all the way down his neck, and back to his lips, their noses pressed together, hands in each other's hair. They hear a knock on the door and a voice telling them they have two minutes to be out on the stage. They keep kissing like they didn't hear a thing, then Tyler pulls Josh's collar and they move towards the door until Josh's body is pressed against Tyler's and Tyler's back is against it. Tyler reaches a black hand to the doorknob and turns it, and Josh's heart beats faster. They stumble out of their dressing room to shocked faces and people who don't know what to say. They pull away and look at each other like they know they're terrified, and they know this may be reckless, but they're tired of hiding. They clasp their hands together and walk out onstage.