1. Drowning | ✓

[5.7.2017]

As says pass,
as the clock ticks,
as the sun rises and sets
and as the moon does too.

She realizes she's growing up,
she realizes times are changing.
Everything gets harder,
and things she used to discard aside
are now tormenting her mind.

How she cut her hair
'like a boy'.
She didn't mind at all,
but now that it's growing back,
she hears what people had
to say about it.

And so she wondered...
did I actually look that bad?

She used to be loud
and outgoing,
until people started
to call her names.
She didn't care,
she made herself believe.

But the youthful shield
that protected her heart
was breaking,
falling apart.

The stretch marks she once
neglected and ignored,
are now flaws she wishes
to cover up.

The uneven curves on
her flawed body
made her want to
wear oversized clothing.

"You used to not care."

"You give off the vibe
of someone who doesn't
pay attention to others'
opinions."

She smiles silently at the comments,
holding deep down in her heart
the true emotions she felt.

In the pure darkness
of the night.
The moonlight shines
on her teary eyes.

"Will I ever find myself again?"

This faze of insecurity,
blocks her path
to success
and felicity.

She wants the days to go
by faster
and the clock to continue
forward.

She hopes for it all
to be a faze,
so she can be happy
and careless.
She wants it all to be
meaningless thoughts;
to be untrue
notions.

She wants to believe
she's perfect in her own way.
Without others
doubting her...

and becoming another chain
that pulls her into the endless
sea of tormenting
thoughts.