Heartchains

Chapter 16

Just a warning, this chapter might include some eating disorder references. It's just a hc of mine about Pansy. I might do a separate fic about Pansmione with explicite ed mentions but I still want to include a bit in this. (I'm such a sucker for convincing people they're beautiful. I want everyone to see themselves as I see them. And Hermione would be like that too) I just don't want anyone to get triggered (I'm not saying that in the TRigGeRed!!1! way. I mean "someone-with-an-eating-disorder-having-a-relapse" way. I hate triggered jokes.) Anyway, it won't be explicite with Hermione but in Pansy's pov there will definitely be mentions of it. I'll include a warning. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What?" Pansy asked. 

Hermione fiddled with her shirt. 

"Do you want to go and eat in with Harry, Ron, Ginny and I?" She and Ron, while not completely okay, were on speaking terms once more. What she had gotten from Harry was that Ron was not excited to have a deatheater as a friend. Hermione doubted that was the language Ron had used but she expected no less. However, one of the things she had loved about him was his acceptance. She knew it would take him a while to understand Hermione's actions but the fact that he was willing to try was all that she could ask. She was just relieved to have her best friends back. Next step was just trying to get him to realize that Pansy wasn't a deatheater, and just like them, was just a child in a war.  "I think Malf-, Draco, might be going as well, but I'm not sure."

"Would that be okay?"

"Of course," Hermione said. "Why wouldn't it be?"

"I mean, I just thought, well," Pansy was stuttering, seemingly trying to think of a reason.

Hermione smiled. "They'll love you when they get to know you." She said softly.

"I'm not really that hungry," Pansy said, looking down at her hands.

"You haven't eaten since last night. I'd assume you're hungry."

"I'm really not. Besides, the school breakfast is so unhealthy. It's all pastries and high-fat meat. It would be best if I didn't eat that. I'm already pudgy as it is. If I start going down with you, I might have to start eating breakfast." She said nonchalantly as if it was a completely normal state-of-mind.

Hermione was astonished by this response. What did she mean when she said she was pudgy? Pansy barely had an ounce of fat on her. "You don't eat breakfast?" She asked as if that was what really bothered her.

"I mean, I eat it occasionally."

Hermione brought her breakfast every day. How did she not notice that she didn't eat it? Thinking back on it, however, she realized that Pansy only, really, picked at the food. She didn't eat the whole thing and rarely, she saw her eat the muffins or other various pastries. She mostly just ate the fruit and nibbled at her toast.

"Well, you're eating it today." Hermione huffed. She felt her bossiness beginning to kick in, but she felt that this moment needed it. How could she have not noticed Pansy not eating breakfast? She noticed everything.

Pansy looked up, slightly shocked. "Okay." She said, uneasily.

Hermione slid out of her chair. "Okay." She said back.

After they got changed, Hermione and Pansy headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Surprisingly, the castle was bustling with activity and people were walking through the halls, chatting.

They entered the Great Hall, and Hermione directed Pansy to the little table off to the side where she and her friends ate. At the table, sat Ron, Harry, Luna, Neville, Ginny, and Draco.

What once was a table bustling with life simmered down to nothing as everyone looked at Pansy. 

"Oh hullo Pansy," Luna said, moving over so that she could sit down next to her.

"You two know each other?" Ron asked, pointing with his toast. His mouth was semi-full and crumbs flew out. He didn't seem to notice.

"Oh yes," Luna said. "We aren't exactly close but I'd consider us friends. Right, Pansy?" She looked over at Pansy, who had still not taken her seat. 

"R-right." She replied, sliding into the bench. There was a silk covering on the wood but it still felt cold compared to the plush chairs of the common room. 

"Anyway," Harry said, attempting to ease the tension. "Ron was just talking about his plans for the winter."

Ron turned red. "They're not my plans. They're mum's plans." 

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Of course they are. Ron would never think to invite Slytherins to our house."

Ron elbowed her. 

Pansy felt her lungs close up. She looked at Draco and he was thinking the same thing.

"Who even told her about them." Hermione heard Ron mutter. She glared at him. 

Pansy moved to get up but Hermione placed her hand on her wrist. 

"Hermione, I can't do this-"

"Do what?" Hermione asked, looking at her with those big, brown eyes.

"I'm not wanted here." She whispered. No one at the table seemed to notice the conversation going on at the other end of the table. 

"What are you talking about? They haven't said one rude thing to you." She didn't seem mad, just... there was this emotion Pansy couldn't place. She marked it down as pity. She loathed pity.

Suddenly she was mad. 

"Get off me." She whispered.

"What?" 

"Get. Off. Me." She said, voice quivering. She yanked her hand free, a hand that didn't need to be yanked seeing as how Hermione was barely holding on. 

Pansy stood up from the table, pushing the bench back and rumbling plates and silverware. She rushed out of the Great Hall, leaving the small group behind her. 

Only two followed.