Animorphs 2.0

Becoming Human

I landed in an abandoned stretch of woods, hid and cloaked my ship. No human would ever find it. I had looked up Loren on my ship's interface and knew where to find her. I managed to come into contact with a few humans and perform the Frolis Maneuver, combining the DNA of different humans to create a human body for myself. It was strange being in a new body and I missed my stalk eyes and tail. There was one advantage to being human that almost compensated the loss. I had gained this new sense. Taste! Oh what a wonder it was, that lone took a few days getting used to. I had lost control a few times, but being a warrior, and determined to keep my cover, I resolved to keep my reactions to a minimum. When I deemed myself passable as a regular human, I decided to find her. I used the computer on my ship, hacking this thing called the Web, to find Loren's housing address.

It was late when I came to her house. She opened the door and I smiled. After a few weeks practicing to be human, smiling with my mouth was normal, not just reflexive. And boy did I have reason to smile. She was as beautiful as ever.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

<Yes Loren.> I replied in thought-speech. <You can help me.>

She gasped softly. "Elfangor!"

I smiled that she recognized my "voice." Then again, how many people could speak to her mind? I was mostly glad she remembered me. I wasn't certain she would. "Yes, Loren. Can I ask you to come with me?" I desperately hoped she wasn't involved with someone else, that she'd gone on with her life when I so badly wanted to be a part of it.

"Of course." She replied. I tried to keep my sigh of relief quiet.

I turned to lead the way and onto my face broke out the biggest smile I could handle. My single human heart began to beat faster as I led the way through the forest to my spaceship. She followed me inside. I took off some of my outer clothing and demorphed into my regular shape, while she stood watching. She'd seen morphing before, it wasn't new to her. When I finished there was a pause, then she ran to me and gave me a hug. My arms wrapped around her as well. I liked the warmth of her near me. Her hair was so soft. And she smelled so good. I had missed her. Missed her a lot.

She broke away and looked into my eyes.

"It really is you." She said.

<You didn't believe me?> I asked.

"No I just like seeing you in your natural form." Without my human mouth, I simply felt the contentment her statement gave me, as she laid her head back on my chest. I understood what she had said. She knew it was me, but now she could actually see me. The real me. When she broke away this time, she looked up into my face and stared into my eyes. I stared back into hers. She was so beautiful.

"Oh, Elfangor." She said as she stroked the side of my face with a hand. "I'm so sorry."

<What do you mean?> I asked.

"You look older." She replied.

<So do you.> I said, half laughing. A few years had passed since we'd seen each other. She looked different now.

"No. It's different. Your eyes. They're much older than they should be. You've seen so much."

<You know what I've seen.> I said, looking down. Though I was happy she knew my secret, so at least someone knew, I was ashamed.

She put her hand on my cheek and raised my head gently. "Yes Elfangor. I do know." And I see no anger or pity in her eyes, only respect and caring. "But things must've happened after I left. Things you didn't want to see. Tell me. Let me take some of the weight off your shoulders." I didn't know what it was about her that made me want to tell her everything. From beginning to end. Whatever it was, I wanted to listen to it, so she sat down and I did. I told her of how I felt after she left. Of going home. Of my brother, she smiled at that. I told her of trying to protect Aximili in the military and of failing and finally I told her of my decision to come here.

<I've thought about you a lot since you left.> I said. I want to tell her how I feel about her. How I haven't stopped thinking about her. She stands up and comes close to me.

"Me too." She looks down and laughs, bashful. "I waited for you for a while. I thought that maybe you'd come back for me."

<Then you gave up on me?> I asked, half-joking.

"No." She said. "Never. I simply figured you had duties to attend to with your own people, things to do on your world. And you did. But I never stopped hoping. And now you're here." She put her hand on my cheek again. It felt very nice. I took hers in both of mine and held it there.

"Did you just come to visit?" She asked me. "When will you be leaving?" I shook my head. A human thing, I felt very human in this moment.

<I won't be leaving, Loren. I'm staying.>

"What do you mean?" She asked.

<I decided this when I came here. I'm tired Loren. Tired of the fighting, the war. I want no part of it at all. I'm sick of it. I tried to protect my brother from it, but I couldn't.> As I speak I morph. My last morph ever. This is something none of my people would ever intentionally do. But I'm not the rest of my people. And now I will never be again. I have left them all behind. I have a mouth now, so I speak out loud instead of thought-speech.

"I left it all behind. My people think I'm dead. I died a hero. Who knows what they'll name after me. And I don't care. I didn't come here for a visit Loren. Or to hide, or to say I'm sorry. I came here to stay." I paused. "With you. If you want. I came so I don't have to face it all anymore, so I can be free of it. And I know that makes me a coward and if you don't want me then-" Loren jumped up and all of a sudden she was holding me tight.

"You're not a coward." She whispered in my ear. "You're a hero, and you're brave. You have seen so much, you deserve to be happy. I want you to be happy." Then she raised her head and looked me in the eyes. "How could you think I wouldn't want you? You're everything I ever dreamed of having." She then reached forward and put her lips against mine. I'd heard about kissing before, I'd even seen humans do it a couple of times in the weeks I'd been here, but I'd had no idea it felt like this. Her lips felt so soft against mine, I shuddered with happiness. Somehow, I knew what to do. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer to me. Her arms wound around my neck and her fingers ran through my hair. I love you. I wanted to tell her. She pulled away and looked into my eyes.

"I love you, too." She said. I smiled. It was like she'd read my mind. I kissed her again.

Even though I'd only been with her a short while, I knew my love was true. I'd never met anyone like her in the entire galaxy. And I knew I never would. If I was going to spend my life on Earth, I'd spend it with her. She put her head on my chest and I held her close. I sat down with her and said,

"Loren, I didn't just change into this form to kiss you." I shifted in my seat a little, uncomfortable with what I was about to say. "When I decided to come here, it was a decision to leave everything I knew behind. Even my people. To stay here with you I'm going to-" I broke off. Somehow saying it out loud made it seem more horrible. This was a betrayal, no matter how you sliced it, but it could be forgiven if done for the right reasons. I only hoped one day someone could think the way I did and decide that it was alright. For now, I had Loren to do that for me. Loren's eyes opened wide as she realized what I was doing. Tears filled my eyes and I looked down.

"Oh, Elfangor." She said. "I'll stay with you. Don't worry, I'll stay with you." The tears slipped down my cheeks as she reached to comfort me, to hold me instead. I was happy she was there, I needed her. I told her so through my tears. She sat with me the whole two hours keeping me from changing my mind. When it was done we left the spaceship together.

I took the human name Alan Fangor. Only when we were alone did Loren call me Elfangor. After several months of living together, I asked her to marry me. She accepted and it seemed like I would finally be able to live a life of peace.

However, as was usual for me, it didn't last forever. It took a while, but the day would come in which my past would come back to haunt me.