Animorphs 2.0

The Family

A few months later, I asked her to marry me. She said yes. I told her that I would change for her. That I'd choose to stay human forever, for her. She cried and clutched me to her when she heard that. I just smiled as I laid my cheek on her head. This was easy for me. I loved her so much; I never wanted to be away from her. Doing this a second time was much easier. Though I knew more what I was giving up, and it wasn't even necessary this time, I felt that much closer to her, and that much more determined to do it. My time as an Andalite was long over. I would finish my life as a human, with my family. We waited for Tobias. The three of us sat in the living room on the couch, my wife on my left, my son on my right. I told them the moment the two hours were up. Tobias gave a tiny sigh of relief; Loren squeezed my hand and put her head on my shoulder. This was what I had waited for. I couldn't believe I was worthy to finally have it.

One night, I jumped awake in bed next to Loren, breathing heavily. I tried to shake off the feeling of the dream I'd had. Loren, awoken by my cries, pulled me back down next to her and held me close. Clutching her to me helped me calm down.

"Tell me." she said simply.

I didn't know whether it was the night, or that I was scared or I thought she deserved to know, but I told her.

"It was the war."

"When you fought against the Yeerks?"

I nodded. The dream had been of a particular memory of mine. I had just been forced to leave Loren. This had been in my first month of being a Prince. There had been a battle. We had won, but I had killed the enemy general, even after they had surrendered and he lay wounded on the ground. I had convinced myself it'd been a strategic move, he'd been too dangerous to be left alive, but I did not really believe it myself. Now, I was ashamed of what I'd done. I didn't tell Loren the whole dream, but I told her of the battle, and how angry and lost I'd been.

"That was right after I had to leave..." I stopped. I couldn't believe what I'd just been about to say. I still hadn't told her of our past. How could I? Either she wouldn't believe me, and get angry, or she'd blame me for leaving her and ruining her life. Tobias frequently pushed me to tell her, but I always had some excuse. I wondered if really I might just be a coward. She did deserve to know, but I hadn't been prepared, so I hoped she'd drop it.

"Right after you had to leave...what?" I sighed. I might as well have wished for the sun to shine at night, she was way too inquisitive for that.

"It's nothing, Loren."

She sat up to face me, kindness in her eyes. "Don't lie to me, Elfangor. I know you; I can see when something is bothering you. I leave your past alone because I know you don't like to talk about it, but sometimes you just have to let it out." I could see she was only trying to help me; she thought talking about whatever it was would bring me peace. But it wasn't that simple. "And if you don't tell me now, it's just gonna keep bothering you and eventually you'll tell me." She continued. "So let's skip all of that and have you tell me now instead."

I smiled grimly at her logic. She was right; eventually I would tell her. However, until then, I'd just keep pushing it off. I'd have to tell her now, when she wants to hear it. I sat up as well, propping my head up with my hand as I faced her.

"I'll tell you, Loren. And not just this dream. I want to tell you everything that has happened to me. I love you and I want you to know everything about me. I have no secrets from you." She nodded and I began.