Inachevé

Three - Honours

“I’m going to ask Lisa Williams to be my wife,” came the lyrical voice of the youngest sibling, Thomas Honour. He swept his wavy, blond hair from his forehead and took a seat beside his older brother by five years, Jonathan. The two sat by one another on their fishing dock, their bare feet dangling above the faint outlines of the fish below. The August sun was setting, letting free a glorious flood of scarlet red over the Honour Estate.

Jonathan, who was the least attractive of his three brothers with his long, peculiar face and cat-like eyes, remained silent. His eyes drifted from Thomas’s and fled to a place of confusion and shock. Since when did Thomas start showing affection to their second cousin? He hadn’t spoken a word to her since their last family reunion, which was four years ago. Had they been secretly exchanging letters? Or had the time away given him too much to think about?

Finally turning to his younger brother, Jonathan swallowed, and replied in a dry voice, “I wish I could encourage you to pursue it. For she is a noble woman of high accomplishments and beauty, however, dear brother, I think there’s something you ought to know.”

Thomas’s gray blue eyes narrowed and the excitement in his face contorted into one of prepared disappointment. “What is it? Is she all right?”

Inhaling deeply, Jonathan said in a stronger tone, “She’s already accepted Christian’s hand in marriage.”

In exasperation, Thomas exclaimed, “Christian’s? When? How? Why wasn’t I informed?”

Jonathan placed a hand on Thomas’s shoulder and pushed him back down into the sitting position. “Steady on, chap, we both know that any affair of our older brother remains a mystery until it happens before our eyes. And besides, if I had known about your interests in Lady Lisa, I would’ve told you before Christian told me that he had asked her.”

“Which was when?”

“Yesterday,” Jonathan answered, pulling the string to his fishing rod out of the water. The hook came back both empty of bait and fish. “Well! I think I should fix my own bait this time, the ones in the advertisement are horrible!”

“Yesterday?” Thomas repeated gloomily as he folded his hands on his lap. “You think I have still time to write to her? Or, tell her how I feel?” Thomas looked up at his brother, who was getting ready to return to the house. “Say something, Jonathan. You know I rely on all your advice.”

Jonathan froze and tightened his lips. The words, though meant to be a compliment, sliced through his soul like a cold, heavy knife. Indeed, he had always been the soul keeper of his younger brother—there wasn’t a time they weren’t waking each other up in the night to discuss an unanswered problem of theirs. Leaning down to pick up his fishing equipment, Jonathan said bluntly, “Stay away from her, Thomas. Some things are better left alone.”

“But, Jonathan—,”

“Leave it be, Thomas!” Jonathan heightened his pace and broke through the overgrown shrubbery that separated the lake from the lawn. As he hurried home, he felt his eyes swell and his bottom lip tremble. He stomped a foot, frustrated more at himself for showing his emotions than the conversation he had just had with Thomas. Smearing the tears away, he collected his composure and advance the house in a more erect and overly-confident attitude.

His butler greeted him upon his entrance and told him of the dinner plans his older brother had prepared.

“Another dinner party?” Jonathan groaned. “Haven’t we had enough conversation around this house with just us three brothers?”

“I’m sorry, m’lord, I can put a word in with his Lordship if that will please you?” the butler offered as he placed Jonathan’s fishing gear away.

“No, no, don’t bother. I’ll speak to him myself. Thank you, Hiddleton.” Jonathan made his way to the library, where he knew his older brother would be.

The Honour Esate had been passed down to Christian when their parents had been killed in a train robbery. Since then, Christian ran the estate as his own, letting his brothers live with him until they could afford their own homes. Jonathan and Christian never agreed with one another, even when their parents were alive—it was as if there was an unknown crime Jonathan had committed that no one would tell him about.

Though Christian was known for his temper, strict habits, and long periods of solitude, he still carried a kind heart and a protective spirit; the younger brothers knew they could count on him if either were harmed.

Jonathan knocked on the library door and peeked in. “Christian?”

The older brother, with his ash-brown hair, quiet expression, and timid appearance, sat quietly on the sofa reading a book. The family’s German Shepherd, King, sat at his feet, head on his paws. Jonathan stopped and cleared his throat.

Christian turned around and smiled. “How was the fishing?”

“It went well. But, I’d rather talk about something else.”

“Oh?” Christian placed the book down and gave Jonathan his full attention. “What is it?”

Jonathan came around the sofa and took a seat on the chair opposite. “I want to talk about Lisa Williams.”

“I’m not going to apologize, Jonathan.” Christian slapped the book shut and pushed himself from the sofa.

Grinding his back teeth together, Jonathan shoved himself to his feet and faced his brother with a stern, angered face. “But you knew and know how much I love her. You, of all people—,”

“Don’t make me feel guilty, Jonathan,” Christian muttered in a tight voice. “I am fifteen years older than you and without a wife. You know how unnatural that is for the Honour family? Our parents and our grandparents and their parents all married young. I can’t let that legacy down. So, please, don’t chastise me for doing what I think is right.”

Jonathan nodded his head slowly. “I see. You would rather save your reputation than your own brother’s heart. Did she refuse? Or did she seem excited when you asked?”

“Forgive me if I don’t know the depth of your friendship with Lady Lisa; but she and I think alike and share the same aspirations. I asked her because I sincerely felt love for her. She accepted because you haven’t.” Christian’s eyes dropped in sadness of the topic. “Jonathan, she’s coming over for dinner tonight. Please treat her as if we haven’t had this conversation.”

Without a final word, Jonathan turned and left the library. In uninterrupted steps, he went upstairs and closed himself in his room. The moment his door shut, his hands flew up to his face and he wept. He sunk to the floor and allowed the warm tears to streak down his face.  He tried to find the reasons why she wouldn’t have waited for him. What hadn’t he said that hadn’t expressed his full love? What had he left out in their timeless conversations and letters?

Getting up from the floor, Jonathan rummaged through his desk and pulled out the last letter she had written to him. Turning it over, he read her conclusion.

“…your friendship has meant more than gold, Jonathan. I thank God every day for it. You’ve helped me face decisions I thought I’d have to face alone. I think, for once, I know what my heart wants. And I hope you’ll be happy with the choice I make. I wish I could tell you, but I don’t want to misread any signs or assume something before it’s happened. I hope you know my heart has entrusted in you, and I know that you’ve been the light to pave my happiness.

Yours, Lisa.”

Folding the letter, Jonathan realized that she had wanted Christian to propose to her, but she couldn’t say until he had. Collapsing into his chair, Jonathan pressed a hand against his forehead. With his eyes closed, he whispered, “Oh Lisa, I’m not happy. Not happy at all.”