PSYCHOTIC LIFE

CHAPTER 8

Mom recommended I stay home till I feel ready to see people so I did just that.

I went to my therapist to see her even though she had said I should return after a week.

"Hi Grace", I smiled at her as she sat down.

"Good to see you Hailey even though its earlier than expected but I can take it", she smiled. I handed my diary over to her and she read it.

"Mhmm... This is interesting. I'm noticing how your feelings changed whenever you're with Jacob now. Is he the person you were talking about last time we met?"

"Yes... He is the one who I mentioned that he had brought those dark memories into my soul"

"The feelings of being scared around him... What triggered them that day?"

"Well... He had shown me a place where someone's ashes had been buried in an urn and that sparked feelings of that sadness I once felt. Suddenly, I feared Jacob because every time I was with him, he always showed me something that brought those memories back"

"You just said every time you were with him he showed you something that brought the memories back, I take it that this wasn't the first time he showed you something that took you back in time and scared you a little. What else has he shown you, Hailey?"

"A bullet from that night. The bullet that killed her. The person I trusted the most was the killer and had hid the bullet a few meters away from the body and buried it"

"Must have brought out some really mixed emotions in you, am I right?"

"Yes"

"And this Luke guy... Any feelings arising?"

"Well, I like him, a little. But I'd like us to be friends more than be together as a couple. He's my best friend's ex and I don't feel comfortable going after him.

"Right. Hailey, what about your relationships with others around you, how is it like especially with the introduction of this mixed emotions?"

"Well, I've been drawn away from my brother and best friend too. My relationship with my mom is slowly... How can I say this-"

"Getting strained?"

"Yes that's right... It feels like its slowly withering"

"Have you thought about how you're going to mend this relationships though?"

"Not really but I guess I could do that"

"Hailey, I need you to focus on making yourself happy. Focus on Hailey, nothing more. As this guy reveals the past to you, handle it in such a way that you'll be able to look back one day and be pleased that you went through that. Hailey, please yourself and move on like that"

"I will", I said thinking to myself. This could really help me a lot.

After my therapy session, I went home and just nestled myself on the couch until a door bell disturbed me.

"Luke?", I said after opening the door.

"Hey... You weren't at school so I thought I should check on you and so we could talk about the kiss", he said looking down.

"Sure come in", I said and he walked in and sat on the couch.

"You weren't at school. Why?", he asked me as I sat down next to him.

"I needed space to myself", I said to him and he nodded.

"About the kiss and yesterday's events"

"It really doesn't matter, Luke"

"It does to me because the kiss meant something to me. When you kissed me back it felt like heaven and that, that meant something to me"

"But we can't be together. Mia is my friend and what if she doesn't like the idea of us together?", I said. Do it for yourself, not anyone else. Just do it for Hailey. Suddenly, he kissed me and just as I was about to put arms around his neck and kiss him back, he pulled away .

"Tell me that didn't mean anything", he said looking into my eyes.

"It- it didn't mean anything", I said denying the thought in my head of Luke and I ever being together. Was I pushing away a good thing? Or was this a good thing for me?

"I'll leave", he said then walked out and left.

I threw myself on the couch and groaned.

"Ugh Hailey... Why does everything confuse you!? Why are you always an ass like Brad!?", I yell at myself.

"Excuse me?", a voice said. My eyes almost popped out of my eye sockets.

"I wasn't meaning you. There's so many Brads in the world. I could be talking about one of them", I said to him.

"Geez thanks for making me sound so unique",he said then walked up to his room.

"I'll make dinner tonight!", I shouted.

"Don't burn the house down while you're at it!", he shouted back.

There was a knock on the door and I went to go get. There, was a man standing in a black coat. He had neatly combed hair and a well kempt beard. A brunette in his late 40s I assumed.

"Hello Hailey", he finally said.

"H-hi", I said.

"Aren't you letting me in?", he asked.

"Well, you can come in", I said and he came in and sat down on the couch. I ran up to Brad's room and barged in.

"Brad... I need help, downstairs", I said gasping for air.

"I need my privacy respected too", he said as he took off his earphones.

"Someone's in the lounge and he knows my name. I don't even know who they are", I said to him and he got off the bed and ran downstairs.

"Dad?", I heard him say.

"What?", I asked as I trailed behind him.

"What are you doing here?", he asked him. The man stood up and walked up to me.

"I came to see Hailey", he said as he touched my cheek. I froze in my spot.

"You have no right to touch her like that... After all those years!", Brad said moving his hand from my cheek. I didn't really know if that's what I had truly yearned for. A father's touch.

"Dad?", I called out as though I was testing the name in my mouth.

"Hailey... I'm sorry", he said touching my hand and left.

"What was that all about?", I asked.

"I don't want to talk about it, Hailey", Brad said and went up to his room.

I prepared dinner and when Mom came home, no one mentioned how our so called Dad had returned.