See You Again: MBHEA Book II

| · 4 · | Caramel Macchiato

"JUST for tonight, can you be mine again?"

He didn't wait for my answer before he pressed his lips against mine, roughly and hungrily, a complete contrast to the way he kissed earlier in the day at the plaza. I pushed his shoulders, trying to stop him, but he didn't budge. His body was pinning me down, entrapping me. Jungkook's hands were buried in my hair, elbows on both side of my head.

I do the only thing that was in my mind. I opened my mouth and dug my front teeth into his lips. He pulled away sharply and the dark brown orbs that looked back at my own made me feel horrible.

"This is the second time you kissed me without consent," I said lowly. Jungkook searched my face, trying to figure out my tone of voice.

The first time was back at his home, when he did it just to spite Jimin. It was only a few months ago but it felt much more distant than just months.

"I'm sorry for leading you on, Jungkook. I-It wasn't right. I was selfish. No, I am selfish. I've always been selfish. I used you to ease the pain in my heart, and just when I received the cure, I pushed you away. I'm sorry, Jungkook, I'm so so sorry." Tears pooled in my eyes, and fortunately blurring his face. Looking at him just made it harder to speak.

"I don't love you anymore, Jungkook. No matter how hard you try, you won't make me happy," I choked out. I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I don't make you happy either. You're constantly hurt because of me and you don't deserve that, Jungkook. Don't let me block you from getting a better girl."

Jungkook shook his head slowly. "I don't need a better girl because you're my perfect girl."

It was getting harder to look at him in the eyes, even though everything was blurry. "Just because we're perfect together doesn't mean we're meant to be." I closed my eyes and counted to three, waiting for my heartbeat to slow down. "Our love story is destined to be a tragedy, Jungkook. There's a much better happily ever after waiting for you."

I pushed Jungkook off of me and sat up. My head was a mess and the guilt inside me was overwhelming, slowly nibbling at my heart, leaving me to rot away. "You mean so much to me, Jungkook, and I can't bear to see you hurt. So please,  let go of me. There's nothing good about me to dwell on."

Standing up feebly, I headed for my room. I tried so hard to lift my head and look at him, but I just can't. It was too painful. "Good night, Jungkook," I murmured. I was about to open the door when I heard him say, "I won't be happy with anyone else but you. Why can't you understand?"

Before I could hesitate, I stepped inside my room and closed the door.

I let my body fall against the door that separated us. Clenching my fists, I closed my eyes to prevent tears from falling. I let myself reminisce our past memories together, the times when I still loved him. The times when it was his embrace that comforted me, when it was his kiss that made me all warm inside.

I had no right to be happy when Jungkook is hurting so much because of me.

Biting down on my lip so hard I tasted the tanginess of blood, I flicked the thought away. Pulling my knees to my chest, I leaned back against the wooden door, drowning myself in both of our sobs that permeated the lonely house.

~*~

I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep on the floor until I tipped sideways from my unbalanced weight, my head hitting the floor with a loud thump. I blinked multiple times and shook my head to wake myself up. Slowly, my head still murky, I balanced myself by holding the doorknob and stood up. My legs were numb and my whole body was stiff.