Ramblings of an Insomniac

Lost "Friends"

  So, as most of this will be, this just randomly popped into my head. Currently 1:00am.

   I was thinking about all the friends I've had over the years and two started to gnaw at my thought. Both of them are no longer my friends, and these friendships ended in very different ways the only similarity being that they were dramatic. I'll start with the one that broke my heart.

   We were hanging out at their place (I'm trying to keep them anonymous) two days before the inevitable break, having fun trying to teach me how to play bass guitar and watching movies when they asked if I'd like to go over to their friends place. I, of course, said yes and we were off. A 15 minute walk later and we're there. I'm introduced to everyone, me being shy and all, and asked if I'd like something to drink. One water later and the little brother of this friend asked if I wanted to participate in a water gun fight, my face lights up-mainly because it's been a few years-and i agree... That's my first mistake, I tend to get..heated..when playing around and don't think before I act. A few rounds into the game, everyone is mostly dry (very hot day) and we're kinda doing this man hunt thing. I was hiding in a bush, and suddenly I feel a stinging wet pain on my lower back. Turning around, I see the little brother smirking at me. I half yell something to the degree of,
"Agh! That hurt!" This is my second mistake: I decide that he needed 'punishment'-I realize now that this was not ok-so i got him back...shortly after words, we went back to my friends place and just chilled.

  Two days later, on a Tuesday I think, we were in P.E. and I'm being my usual friendly (to the people I trust) self when I notice that my one friend is trying to avoid me...so I start asking questions. "Hey, is everything alright? Did something happen? Did I upset you?"-putting this out here now, P.E. was our last class of the day-they didn't even look at me when they said, T:"We can't be freinds anymore.."
Wait..what? M:"Why...not?"
T:"We just can't, alright?!"
M:"Wh-what did I do!? C-can I fix it somehow?..IsThisSomeKindOfJoke? ...Haha..?"

   I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for a moment here, it was hard to breathe and my pulse felt strangely slow..
T:"YOU did something to my friends family and they told me I shouldn't hang out with people like YOU."
  The distain and sorrow in their voice is what brought my heart clattering to the floor. I couldn't speak as they got up because the teacher signaled that we were going outside. They walked past me it almost feeling like they made sure to step and shatter my fragile heart. Skip to our class on the baseball field and me, just walking to one corner of the outfield (as far away from everyone I could get myself) and then falling face first onto the ground-sobbing...

  I didn't talk to anyone for awhile after this and my mom put me in kick-boxing to let off some stress. After which I started to smile again although most of the time it was forced, I realize now why I was so torn up about this. I had fallen for that person I'm mostly over it but I always think back about what I should and shouldn't have done.

  Well that was depressing, sorry about that. Hopefully this next one will make you laugh? It's currently 2:03 in the morning and this one should be shorter. Enjoy?

  I had been friends with this one since middle school, 6th or 7th grade can't really remember, and tension has been building since 9th grade. More recently I'd been stressed out because of school-final year of high school ya know-plus they would not let me relax properly. Constantly asking me how I was falling because the classes are soooo easy. News flash, I have a learning disability and can't process information properly. Not only that-and this is very petty of me- they would constantly take the chair I would use and put it somewhere else or try to sit on it just as i got up. And I know, it's just a chair..held together by duck-tape, nothing special about it at all. So, why did I care? I'm not even sure, I just felt most comfortable in that chair.... Anyway, this 'teasing' continued until one day they asked,
"Why do you care about this chair so much? It's not like your life depends on it!" They said it in a way that, if you're already irritated-which I was-you're ganna snap-which I did-.
  I stood up (they were standing next to me) got up in their face and said, as calmly as i could and not quiet a shout,
"Oh, I'm sorry that I'm so stressed out about trying to pass school that a simple trashy duck-taped chair gives me smallest amount of relief and comfort.!" I believe they started yelling something about "getting my damned work done" and "stop being blah blah blaaah", honestly I don't remember, I blacked out or something. I do remember this though, at some point they screamed, "WHY DON'T YOU DELETE MY NUMBER THEN!!" they had this shit eating grin plastered onto their face expecting me to act like the cry baby I used to be, what they got however was me looking them dead in the eyes with no emotion and flatly saying "Gladly." right before I sat down and went back to work. They stormed out, crying I think, quickly followed by my ex (another story for another day) and all you could hear in the class were the quiet "holy shit"'s and "what the fuck just happened?"'s...

   So um thanks for reading? Sorry if this gives you a bad impression of me, but like the title says these are whatever pop's into my head at the time. And trust me I'm a good person, if you get to know me. I promise. I'ma try to sleep now at 2:51am, and if I can't...EXPECT MORE COMING SOOOOoooon...

  So yeah, G'night oorrr g'morning_eh I'm not even sure.