Ramblings of an Insomniac

Damn Fucking Day

Only writing this because it's 5am and stress equals no sleep so.

Today was actually a good day. For some context; i do a grocery delivery job on the side my actual job. And it wasn't bad today, it was busy and i had fun. Until the last order i had to do.

I accepted this order around 19:54 and it wasn't due for delivery until 20:51. I was about 42mins away from the store i needed to go to to pickup the grocery bags to deliver to the costomer.

When i get to the store at 20:37ish none of the costomers bags are there and the app we use was glitching up a storm.

I contact the support team and we come to the conclusion that another deliver took the bags by mistake. As for the app? They weren't sure why it was glitching, and had to force me out of it.

Now the store i was at is a store i try and avoid shopping at, both for the grocery job and personal shopping. (It just intimidates me.)

The support member i was talking to asked if I'd be willing to reshop the order. I was hesitant, i postponed my answer as much as i could but decided fuck it i need the money.

Now what i haven't mentioned is that i had no picture the reference for any of the items, just a list the support member sent me. It's then that i realize that i have to do this without knowing if I'm getting the right items or not. No picture or even barcode reference. I'm starting to freak a bit.

I get the first few items i can find. Before i can truly break down, i grab an associate and have them help me find 5 more of the items. So far, so good, i think.

Now this order has a lot of water in it. Five gallons of just regular water and three cases of vitamin water. This is where i start freaking out, the associate who helped me had to go back and help someone else. So i was on my own.

At first i thought i found the right regular water (it wasn't) but i couldn't find the vitamin water. My nerves have been building at this point and I'm starting to shake. I take a few, unsuccessful, deep calming breaths and try looking around again.

I still can't find them and i realize that I've grabbed the wrong kind of water.

Now I'm not sure who reading this has ever had a panic attack or ever experienced a public breakdown, but they usually aren't loud nor dramatic. They happen for no real reason sometimes and just hit suddenly. The room, or in my case, aisle seams to close in on you. You get this strange tunnel vision and all of a sudden it feels like you're drowning on good air.

I fell to my knees dead center of the water aisle, trembling and silently sobbing with panic. I became hot with embarrassment and that just made it worse.

I'm not sure how long i knelt there, long enough for at least 3 people to see my breakdown.

I wound up texting my mom trying to get her to come to the store to help me. Instead, she calls and talks me down from my panic. I was able to find the right regular water and all the vitamin waters. Just needed two last things. I got a different associate, nice guy really he wasn't even on the clock but helped anyway, found the last two items checked out and delivered the items.

The costomer was also very nice and understanding, by that time i was running on pure costomer service. Just be polite and apologetic then get home.

On the way home i get cutoff 3 times, my ac goes out and i can barely see because of the rain and idiots who think their brights help (news flash, they don't).

I'm not sure about anyone else but after a panic attack i have two moods: fuck off and hold me. Today was a "fuck off" day. So snippy and not wanting to be touched.

I get that this story was anticlimactic but i needed to share. 6:16 at the moment and i should probably get to sleep... Anyway it's an update, although not a very funny or even an interesting one. Maybe I'll post about my stalker sometimes soon.