I kissed my brother, and I liked it

Good and Horny

If we count all the nutella jars in the world, we might die. But if we count all the jars of nutella in the world, we might die too. If we give a carrot to a bunny, he becomes happy. If we give a bunny to a carrot, it doesn't become happy. And my mom. I love my mom.

"Cathryn?"
"Yea?"
"You okay?"
"Uh-huh"
"How are you?"
"Great."
"How's the party?"
"Greatest."

Two drunk people making a conversation is a blessed sight. No sense to the topic whatsoever​. I smoked atleast two joints before Jasmine stopped me, and forced me to get out. Then of all the people in the world, I came and sat next to Travis on the couch. See, when you're high, you feel good, and when you're drunk, you feel horny. Maybe it's the feel good and horny factor that has me resting my head against Travis's chest with his hand lightly stroking my head.

It's been a while since we've been in such close proximity. He smells great. "Travis?", I say.
"Yeah?" He looks down at me.
"Do you really have a small dick?"

I feel his body tense up next to mine. Okay, maybe it's not the best idea to ask a guy the size of his dick. But c'mon! He must've heard the rumours. He sighs loudly. "Really Cathy? You too?" "What?", I whine as he starts getting up. "Why you goin?", I whine again. He grabs my hand in his and starts walking somewhere.

I follow behind silently. He takes me to a staircase and starts climbing. "Where are we goin?" "To the roof." "Poof!... Why the roof?", I ask. "Because you told me nearly a million times already that you wanna climb the roof." "I did?" "Yes", he says as we stand inside an abandoned room. Surprisingly enough he pulls me into a hug and kisses my cheek.

What's with everyone being so affectionate nowadays?

He goes to a window and slides it open. "Eww! It's dusty", I say. He rolls his eyes and pushes me towards the window. He says, "Grab the edge of the roof. Don't fall." I nod and sit on on the window's sill. I look down from where I sit and see little human beings next to each other. The world is so small. Life is so small. It passes away in a blur yet we spent countless days locked up in our tiny room instead of going out and living.

Travis pushes me up suddenly and I grab the edge of the roof with both my hands then pull up. I dig my fingers between the gaps inside the puzzle shaped maroon cement. I feel a presence beside me and turn my head left to see Travis. He climbs up and sits. He offers me his hand and when I ignore his unwanted help, he grabs me frocefully and pulls me up.

We sit on the weird and tilted roof next to eachother. I look up at the sky. Sadly, there are no stars up there. It's just plain and black with no source of light except for the crescent moon, peeking in from the sides of thick black clouds. The weariness starts creeping up my body. I look at Travis and realize he's not nearly half as drunk as me. His eyes are wide open and study the land beneath and sky above us.

He turns his head to me and scowls. "Cathy?"
"Yeah?", I whisper.
"Did you smoke?"
"How do you know?"
"Your eyes- they're blood shot."
"Oh!", I gasp.
"Why Cathy? That shit's not good for you."
I frown at him too. "It's not bad either."
He sighs and I rest my head on his shoulder.

Then I ask him what I've been dying to ask him. "Travis?"
"Yeah?"
I swallow. "Why'd you leave me?", I whisper.

Again, I feel his body tense up, his hand grips the side of my waist tighter and he sets his jaw. "I don't know", he says. I nod because I'm lost for words. 'I don't know' is the only answer and explaination I have for those countless nights spent crying in my room. For those countless drinks I chugged down at the club to erase him from my mind. Yet here I am. Back in his arms. The STD's arms.

The disturbing thing about life is you can't run away. No matter how far you go, your past always follows you.

"You said 'us' meant nothing to you Cathy." For some reason, I hear the pain and longing in his voice. He can't hide the hurt he feels, not anymore. "I say a lot of things Travis."

He raises my chin to look up at him. We stare. The hate stirs up in my stomach. The stupid dates. The endless make out sessions. The sex. It meant nothing to him. And maybe it meant nothing to me for the time being too. But then I learned how his absence effected me. The hard way.

The fact is that when I'm sober, I don't let things such as Travis get to me. I don't allow myself to feel. I was young when 'we' happened and it was a mistake. I am never running back on myself. But when drunk, all I want is to confront him and beat his ass.

I get up and start walking on the roof. "Cathy! You're gonna fall!" Travis walks behind me. I stand on the edge of the roof. The world looks so tiny from here. It's so... pointless. Life is too. And so I start laughing.

"Cath?" He rasps, sounding confused. "Please step back babe, you-you're gonna fall."

I keep laughing and reach for my hair. I untie it, letting the strands of wavy brown hair fly in the wind. I laugh even louder. Oh how fucking foolish I was! Running away! Trying so desperately to fit in when I was clearly standing out. Finally, after an year worth of patience and friendship making I'd cleared myself from the title of  'School Whore'.

I'd only ever kissed one pair of lips that many times. Only ever felt one pair of balls. Only ever seen one pair of green eyes boring into mine at 2am in the night. And they all had ruined me. Yet I kept running in circles.

"TRAVIS!", I yell. "COME HERE!" He comes closer. He grabs my arm and pulls me back to him. I try to push him but he won't budge. "Stop it Cathy", he pleads.

"Why?", I question him, laughing hysterically. "WHY?" He pulls me into him. Into his chest. And I realize, I don't feel the same anymore. I don't feel what he made me feel an year back. I don't feel giddy and untouchable in his grasp. I don't feel the burning lust.

I look up at him. And the only thing I feel is rebelliousness​. All these months the kids at school called me a whore for being with Travis once the lesbian rumours were out. They'd throw me in the trash whilst calling me a 'disgrace'. And look at them now. They beg for their presence to be acknowledged by me. I feel the need to prove them wrong somehow. Somehow.

I grab the back of Travis's head and pull him to me. "You're gonna kill me for this when you're sober", he says. I shrug. "Kiss me", I say.

And so he does. Although I don't feel anything for him personally, I do feel something for his hands and the way they work. He kisses me fiercely, with no calm in his eyes. His lips devouring mine as I let him. I kiss him back. Pulling at his hair. Sucking at his lips and silently praising their incredible tricks. He lets his hands fall down on my back, then grips my butt, pulling me closer to him.

I think we both know it. It's pointless-kissing, just to fill desires and satisfy each other. I feel his hand creep up my naked stomach and into my top. I let him. What do I have to lose now anyways?

We pull back panting and he starts his  hand job by caressing me. And I let myself feel the pleasure. He kisses and sucks at my neck, trailing it down to my right shoulder. His left hand is up my shirt and doing the dirty job. He fills up my right breast in his palm, stroking it.

"TRAVIS!" He pulls back in shock, curses and then looks at me with confusion. "It wasn't me", I say. He pulls me to his side and turns around. "Logan?"

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CLIFFHANGER! lol