I kissed my brother, and I liked it

Stupid Cliché

"Don't have sex."

Someone fake coughs.

"Becauusssseeeee. When a woman's ovary is ATTACKED by a sperm cell, it causes an explosion. BOOM. And everyone within a ten mile radius, dies."

Silence.

"But... sir. How does pregnancy happen then?", Gwen asks smiling goofily from the front seat. Oh what I wouldn't do to smack that smile off her face.

"Well Ms.Riley. It's kind of a shame that you do not know, but, the baby fairy exists. She brings in the baby one year after your parents get married."

"Wow." Someone whispers.

"But sir? I fucked a girl once and she got pregnant!" That was Travis. The walking, talking STD.

"There's something wrong with your penis then Travis", he turns around to look at me from the second row, "better get it checked."

Everyone laughs. The number of girls he's had sex with is astonishing, and all most of them complain about his dick being tiny.

"Why don't you check it for me Cath? I know you won't mind."

"Not to hurt your feelings Travis, but I don't do dicks the size of a peanut. Sorry not sorry. Oh, and it's Cathryn."

"Ms.Hollister and Mr.Jocks please no... personal talks during class. Get it? Both of you?"

Me and Travis,
Travis and me,
Childhood enemies,
Never meant to be.
I will chop off his d,
Make him beg on his knee,
Cuz he and me,
Can never be.

That's a poem I wrote when I was seven. My therapist told me it was easier to get over loss if you wrote your feelings down and hence this is what I created after the loss of Mr.Rayray, my favourite brown teddy bear that got ripped to pieces by the hands of bloody Travis. My therapist wasn't quite happy with my piece of literature, but to her, 'it was a start'.

"But sir sex is fine after marriage", says Tracey. I don't know her much. She seems nice.

"No."

"Are you a maleinist sir?", asks one of my friends, Bean.

"What's a male-in-ist Bean?", I ask him whilst kicking his chair infront of me.

He turns around and shrugs. "It's some new shit a few men have started and, it's like feminism but it's, maleinism. Geddit?" He laughs.

"Well that's just stupid. Feminism's​ about equality. What's this male-in-ism about? Equity?" Lauren, my bestie, playfully hits Bean on the shoulder.

Is it just me, or are they getting a little too touchy nowadays?

"Ouch!" And then they both laugh. Staring into each other's eyes.

And then they stop laughing, but keep staring. 

Just as I thought they might kiss and I might puke my head off, the bell finally rings. I sigh in relief.

"Ok class. See you tomorrow. Oh, and remember. No. Sex."

I look to my right at my partner sleeping beside me. My ultimate best friend. My everything inside a petite girl. I shake her shoulder. "Get up Kylie. Time to go girl."

She hadn't slept all night because of her stupid cheerleading tryouts that were messing with her head.

She raises her head from her table and starts looking here and there like a lost puppy. "How the fuck did I wake up here?"

"Because you slept​ here dumbass. C'mon get up, your stupid tryouts are in 4th period right?"

"Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, OH SHIT. I forgot! Gotta run. I'll catch you uh..? After school?"

"K."

Then she gets up and runs out of the class, down the hallway and into the gymnasium.

"He doesn't even know how to dance!"

Laughs.

"And what about the time he accidentally stepped outside with his Sponge Bob pajamas on?"

Laughs.

"Oh c'mon Court! Sponge Bob is a-aw-some!"

More laughs.

I would say I have a huge group of friends, but I won't say I'm close to all of them. Actually, they all are twats. There, I said it. Annoying little twats. Because they never talk about a topic that I wanna talk about. And that's the guy standing a few I-don't-know-how-many-feet away from me, next to his locker.

Call me a stupid cliché for crushing on a guy totally in the wrong league than me, but it's true. Ok? It is true. He's handsome. He's cute. He's weird. He's adorable. And, and... and he's handsome.

Now unlike I have with most people here at Freds Highschool (yeah ik great marketing name), I don't have a history with him. Never had a single class with him in my entire life. Never met him. Never talked to him and nor am I planning on doing that.

See, when you go shopping, would you rather shop? Or window shop? Most people'd say shop, but here's my take on it. Shopping beautiful and expensive items, costs. But staring at them from a safe fucking distance is safe and well, free. No expense. No exchange. No returns.

Just save up until you can afford to buy it.

Freds Highschool, Freds School and Freds Elementary have existed since forever. These were the torture cells most of us went to. But this beautiful creature named Logan Walker came from England at the start of highschool and boy, does everyone love him.

Not just the girls but the boys too worship him. And he has a British accent. Now if that's not a turn on, then I don't know what is.

"Yo Cathryn! Still not over your crush eh?" I smack Callum on his shoulder. He's also British. But not even close to a turn on.

"Shut up dick", I whisper, "he'll hear you."

Break just finished and all of us are standing at Courtney's locker (the usual) discussing about- I don't know what they're discussing about.

"So Cath, you coming to my birthday party this weekend?"

I scoff. "No one throws birthday parties anymore Jasmine. Do you expect me to bring a wrapped up birthday present for you too?"

"Logan's coming too", Poppy, a one in a minion kind of friend with green hair, whispers to me, smirking.

"I mean, I didn't exactly say no...so..."

"Great then! I'll meet you all at my house, 8 pm sharp. Mom and dad are going out for the entire week so ya'll can stay over too." And then they all cheer. "Woo", I sigh, watching Logan walk away with his girlfriend, Gwen, as the bell rang.
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*whispers nervously*
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