To Mate or not to Mate?

Memory Lane

Knowing that Lucian would be back today made me an equal amount of nervous and excited. I can never explain my emotions regarding him. One moment I was hot, hotter than the sun itself. And the next, I was willing to run as far as it took me to get away from him.

I wasn't sure when he would swing by the Pack house, so I ran to Becca's for a little last minute cooldown. I was still in heat, it was starting to get worse. I know that she I had gone through a few cycles so far, so I figure she may have a little bit of advice to offer as far as cooling it down. I tried to go to my sister first, but she had left for the day to go shopping with Christine. It hurt that she wasn't there to say goodbye, but at this point it might have not been a goodbye as much as a get the fuck out.

"Sex." Becca said plainly. I shook my head. "Yeah, that's not an option. That's the absolute last option. Except for when Lucian looks at me. Or touches me... and I can barely control myself." I plopped onto Becca's down comforter, burying my face into the pillow. I let out a loud scream that was muffled in the feathers.

"I'm telling you. It's the only way to make yourself feel better, otherwise you're in like two weeks of pain. During my first heat cycle, I fought it for almost 3 days. At the end of the third day, I would've went up to almost any male just so they would fuck me. I was lucky to have Zach readily available." She giggled. I sat up, letting out a deep exhale. Sooner or later, Lucian and I would have to have sex. No mate couple could deny themselves the lust for long. Most didn't make it past the first night. I like to consider myself special.

"So, do you love him?" I asked her out of the blue. She didn't even look at me. "Yeah, I do. And it sucks. I know someday one of us is going to find their mate and then we will be over. I don't want to be over." Her tone was somber. Every female I have ever known had dreamed their entire life of finding their mate. It was like a modern Cinderella story for each individual girl. Ever since Kahlia and I were young, she always believed strongly in the notion of the mate bond. I was more interested in slaying the damn dragon than I was being a damsel in distress. Four years I had trained with our best fighters, and now I was supposed to drop my life for some male, so I could be his little wife and pop out his babies? Fuck that.

"Hey, is Connor home? I wanted to say goodbye." I kept my tone soft. Truth was, I had no idea what I was supposed to say to the guy I was about to hook up with when my mate suddenly appeared underneath my sister. What does one say at a time like this?

"Yeah, he's in his room. I think Zach is there, too.." she trailed off. "Don't worry Bex, I'll send him over." I laughed and walked down the hall towards Connor's room. I heard a pair of voices from the other side of the door.

Knock. Knock.

I heard Connor's voice. "What's up?" He asked, probably assuming I was Becca. I took that as an invitation to open the door. His eyes widened as I stepped inside. Connor and Zach were sitting on opposite ends of a black leather loveseat, with gaming controllers in their hands. His eyes didn't leave mine.

"Get out." He said. I didn't move. Zach stood up and walked out the door. "Becca is in her room." I whispered to him. He looked back at me and winked.

I closed the door, walked to the other side of the sofa, and sat down beside Connor. I curled my knees under my chin and sat facing him. He stared at the TV, which was in a pause screen of some game.

"You know, I remember the first time I remembered you as more than just some little wolf girl." Connor began. His voice was soft, yet still deep. I eyed his toned arms as he shifted his position to face me. His muscles were prominent and defined. They were strong, and all I could think about was them wrapped around me, pulling me in. Stupid heat.

He continued, "It was your first year in training. You were the first female that we had seen in years, and most of the guys didn't want you there. It was only by rule of your father that females were even allowed. And I was your trainer." He smiled at me. My cheeks flushed. I remember like it was yesterday. Most of the males that volunteer for fight training go in at a young age, and are trained for years. I had only been trained one on one by my father until I was 14, and then he allowed me to run with the big boys.

"I was so pissed that I had to babysit a little girl, my sister's best friend to boot. I had known you for forever, and I didn't want you to get hurt." He sighed.

"Yeah, so you paired me with one of the biggest guys in the entire damn camp, hoped he would kick my ass, and that I would run away crying." I cut him off. Connor was an absolute ass to me for the first day I was there. He pitted me against a boy almost twice my size physically. He was almost a foot taller than me and it was a very unfair fight.

"Lucky for you, your dad is an alpha, and you have alpha blood. That kid didn't stand a chance. You whooped his ass in less than 30 seconds and you broke his arm." Connor laughed and shook his head. "That was the first time I knew you were special. And I'm really sorry I didn't move sooner than two days ago, when you kissed my chicken shit ass first." He shrugged. "I guess it wouldn't stop the whole mate thing. But maybe it would give you a reason to reject him, and you'd be here with me instead."

His eyes locked on mine. My heat was still on high alert, and I had to hold back from kissing him again. Or much, much worse. I had liked Connor for years, and if things were different, I had no doubt in my mind we would be together. But the fact remained of who Lucian was.

"Connor, there is something you need to know." I took a deep breath, holding his gaze. "Lucian is an alpha. His pack is the Stone pack." I watched his face as the words sank in. He was silent. "So I can't say no. I have no choice if I want things to stay good. I'm a damn mate ambassador or something." I laughed, moving over next to him. I punched his arm, and he smiled.

"Stop sulking. Because next time we meet you're going to have some little blond cheerleader wrapped on your arm, and you're going to want to make hundreds of pups with her." I laughed so hard I thought I was going to pee myself. We talked for almost an hour before my phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Hello?"

"Cam, sweetie." My mom's voice cooed.

"Hey mom. Everything okay?"

"Fine sweetie. Where are you?"

"I'm at Becca's mom, why?"

"Lucian is here, you want me to put your suitcase in his car and have him come pick you up?"

"Um, sure. I'll be downstairs."

Click.

I hated to be so short with my mother, but I wasn't happy about this, and it was hard for me to be around them. Soon I wouldn't be around them at all.