Reunited™

I'm

do you know how hard it is to hear your name?

do you know how hard it is for me to have people ask about you?

do you know how hard it is to hear people talk about you?

do you know how hard it is to see our pictures​?

or to just see your face?

i'm sick of hearing,, "i'm sorry for your loss."

i'm sick of people pretending to know how it feels to lose the one person who loved and cared for you because nobody else did.

the one person who stood by you when everyone else was against you.

the one person who mattered the most..

nobody knows how it feels to lose you..

everyone says,, "i can't imagine how you must feel."

and they're damn fucken right.

it hurts.

emotionally,, physically,, and mentally.

i feel like a brick is constantly sitting on my chest,, preventing me from breathing.

i feel alone,, even when i'm surrounded by people.

i feel broken..

the one shred of happiness i had is gone..

ripped from this world like a piece of paper torn from a notebook.

and people have the audacity to say that it gets better when in reality..

it gets worse.

i haven't gotten a decent amount of sleep since the funeral.

your casket was closed,, as you had wanted it.

your mother said it was because you didn't want my image of you to change.

but no matter how frail you could've possibly looked,, i still wouldn't doubt for a minute how strong you were.

no matter how bald you looked,, or how skinny,, or how ugly..

i'd still would've thought you were beautiful.

you've always been beautiful to me.

that'd never change..