I Was Not Simon's To Break(Short Story)

I WAS NOT SIMON'S TO BREAK

Clary kept replaying the moment over and over in her head. The taste of Jace was sweet at first, like bliss. For a moment she had forgotten. Forgotten about Simon, forgotten that the Queen was standing behind her with a sly smirk as she watched Clary stand slowly on her toes and tilted her head up just slightly to attach her lips to the nearly unconscious Jace standing in the tangle weave of vines. Vines and lies that had kept them apart for so long then drew the, closer. She heard the sound of the vines retreating, heard Simon let out a small gasp as She and Jace stood attached not only at lips but now hands drawing now around her waist. She had let him pull me closer. She was vaguely aware of Simon then but this dream she had waited for for so long would not be given up that easily.
"Simon!" Clary tried knocking on the door again hoping that the sound of her splintered fists might rise above the blaring noise. But Simon continued to strum his guitar. She knew he should be mad but she still wanted, no needed to talk to him. But what would she say. That it didn't mean anything? But she had never lied to Simon, never since that one time in 8th grade. That she didn't like Jace in that way? Like the sealie queen said, the vines don't lie. She pounded, screamed until the wooden door cut through her knuckles making them bleed. She curled them under her shirt filtering the blood flow. She heard the door creak slowly and shot her head around.
"Simon?" She whispered looking up. His hair was ruffled, making Clary notice how much he really had changed. She couldn't put her finger on it, but it was more than just the small fangs peeking out over his bottom lip. The way he stood as if ready to fight. Even now as his face was red and streaked with tears he seemed brave. Gone was the Simon that had clung to her hand as they watched those scary horror movies when her mum was out. "You love him don't you? In a way you could never have loved me." The last part wasn't a question. Clary tried to reach his eyes speak to him in their unspoken language but he kept his eyes trained on the floor. "I.. I... I'm sorry," She stuttered, even if she had of denied it he would have known, known that she was lying. He just sighed, as though he had expected it. "I LOVED YOU!!!" He yelled making Clary flinch at the sudden change in tone. "BUT YOU MEVER LOVED ME, YOU...YOU...YOU LIAR," She stared at him shocked, he had known all along, he must have known. "I could learn-,"
"Love cannot be learned, it is felt, like you feel for Jace," his voice lowered.
"When did you turn into Gandolff?" She forced a laugh missing the Simon from when they were children, when they would pretend that vampires and witches were real, before they KNEE. "It's done Clary," he chocked "Go be with Jace, your knight in fucking armour!" Tears fell down. Both their faces splattering the ground. Simon turned back to the door. "JACE DOESN'T WANT ME!" She burst. Simon turned back, finally locking eyes. "Yeah? Well then makes two of us," Clary put everything into that gaze, all the hope, all the love, everything. Simon broke it first, looking away then closing the door softly leaving Clary alone.
Clary walked back to the institute in the dark, not caring about demons or anything. When she reached her room her emotions snapped just as izzy came in. "Hey, Alec-" she stopped what she was saying when she saw Clary sitting on her bed with tissues spread everywhere. "Oh my god, what's wrong?" She pressed sitting down next to her. "Simon." She tried to explain further but ended up breaking down into screaming tears. "Shhhhh..." Izzy cooed her voice calming Clary down enough to finish her story. When she had finished she looked up at Isabel who was near crying herself. "Simon loves you, he would never leave you and you love Jace. when your ready you can get him. There is no way he could resist you," she obviously had no experience with other people' emotions besides Jace and Alec but that one sentence lifted Clary's mood almost instantly. But then she broke off into a smile. One of those evil twinkling smiles that she always has right when their about to die. "Lets go get you a rebound!" She squealed. "No, no Izzy. We're me and guys mix there is only pain," she held up her hand in protest. "No Hun, commitment is the issue, there's no harm in a little one night stand,"
"Well my life can't get any shittier so what the hell," she gave in sticking out one hand to allow Izzy to pull her over to the wardrobe. "Ugh, you have nothing good in here," she wined disappearing into the hall. She returned a few moments later with a small stack of clothes. She threw then all at Clary then turned to leave room allowing her to get dressed in privacy. Somehow she managed to shove herself into the skin tight tube dress. It was black, like everything the shadowhunters wore, with triangle cut out on either side of her midrift revealing skin. It was lucky she had been working out since she had become a demon hunter or she would have felt even more exposed than she already did. She pulled up on the plunging neck line self consiesly. "Ohhhh," Izzy clapped like a little girl when she saw her creation. She handed her a pair of 5 inch heels and hurried her over to my bed to do her hair. Izzy twisted it fiercely into a flowery up do before doing her own. Clary had nearly started crying again every time Simon had crossed her mind but Izzy had busy her mind quickly with make up and tips on how to get a guys number.
When they were ready they walked over to Magnus' apartment. The music and chatter could be heard a block away and when they arrived at the door the noise was almost deafening. The door opened as if by magic, who I kindling, it was magic. There was a flurry of glitter and Magnus appeared with Alec at his side. "Ladies, welcome. I must say you look dashing tonight." He smiled warmly.
"Izzy put on a jacket you look like a slut," Alec glared at her throwing her one of Magnus' jackets from the nearby coat rack. Izzy just groaned grabbing Clary's hand and storming past him. "Let's get something to drink," Clary suggested needing to get her mind off Simon and Jace. Isabella clicked her fingers signaling a waiter with a tray of bright blue drinks. She took a sip a giggled passing Clary the other. It was sweet and tasted airy, like cotton candy and desintagrated quickly on her tongue.
She closed her eyes to the taste of the drink. When she opened them Isabelle was dancing with meliorn, Alec was texting someone and Magnus was by the bar. Clary giggled to herself. How had she never realised how utterly mad Magnus was. He was like a disco ball. She giggled louder beginning to dance when hands reached around her waist. She timed her swaying in time with the guy behind her. His hands moved down tracing her hips. She giggled again at the sensation. She twisted in his grasp wrapping her hands around her neck. She untwined herself and took his hand dragging him towards the direction of Magnus' bedroom. A hand grasped her bare shoulders restraining her. She swung around quickly pushing Luke in the chest. "Clary we're going now," his voice was tough unwavering.
"We were just going to go-," Luke cut her off again.
"Bat was just leaving too, weren't you Bat?" It wasn't a question but he nodded his head silently anyway releasing himself from Clary's grasp. After a teary goodbye Luke dragged Clary out to his car. "Clary, I know about Simon and the queen," At the sound of his name Clary broke down in fresh tears. At first she tried to mask them wiping them away then just let them fall onto the thick leather of Luke's car. Everything reminded her of Simon. The small tear on the back seat were he sliced it with his superman action figure when he was 7, chip on the dash board were he had hit it with the keys on his first driving lesson. "How about we get you some ice cream?" He asked turning the wheel around. She tried to smile. He passed her a thermos of coffee pulling up to his house. "Go put something else on and I'll go get you some ice cream," he instructs pointing to the guest room were some of her clothes are stored. She walks down the hall trying everything to forget about Simon.
After changing into some sweatpants and one of Luke's old shirts she sat on the couch. "I got the movies out for you" Luke announced setting down what looked like the stores entire freezer and throwing the stack of movies on my bed. "I only know about girl break-ups from movies so..." Clary look at the entire Star Wars series flung on her bed and attempted to smile at Luke. "Thanks, I needed this," he looked at her again.
"Look, I'm not trying to replace your mum but if you ever need anything, I'm here." Tears stung behind her eyes for ear mum this time though. "Luke, you know you were always my dad, even if not by blood," before he would have scolded her reminding her that he wasn't her dad but now he just looked at her with a touch of happiness in his saddened eyes. The moment broke. "Well, I have a meeting with the pack but that drink you had where's off pretty quick so I'll leave you to it." She smiled gratefully before climbing out of bed to put the movie in. Before the opening scene came on she was out of ice cream in the tub and tears.

There was a knock on her window pulling her back into reality. Simon was still pissed at her, Izzy never knocks, it's Luke's house and Clary could not imagine Alec going out of his way to try to cheer her up. She walked over to the window carefully. If it was a demon they wouldn't have bothered to knock but maybe it was another enemy, god she had so many enemies now. Clary's jaw dropped. Outside was Jace tangled up in the rose bushes. Seeing him made the pain of what happened hit her all over again. At the sound of her crying Jace turned around. His eyes were red and puffy as though he had been crying as well. "You said you wanted to talk?" He nearly whispered reminding Clary of the failed conversation at the institute. "I'm not in the mood Jace," she sighed motioning to the pile of tissues and ice cream.
"Izzy told me about Simon, I wish I could say I'm sorry but..." He smiled helplessly already making her feel better.
"I really don't want to talk about it but you can join the 'My life is crap' squad," He laughed climbing through the window. "Clary, you don't even want to play that game," She joined in the laugh patting a place on the bed next to her for Jace to sit. He flopped heavily making some melted ice cream spill. "You want a tub?" Clary offered "Or will it ruin your georgeous physique?" Jace laughed again. It was a nice laugh, one that made his shoulders shake.
"So you finaly realised I was georgeous," he took a tub of chocolate and grabbed the remote off me.

When it came to the 'No, I am your father' scene she burst out laughing waking Jace up. "What are you laughing at?" He asked curious. "How crazy is our life," Jace got the joke and was laughing next to her their shoulders shaking in time. She had always thought is was cliche the whole long lost evil parent thing but that's was exactly what was happening to her. Valentine was her father, he was evil, he was trying to kill everyone she loved. Their lives were like a crazy Si-Fi/fantasy movie. Simon's favourite scene came on an hour later making her start sobbing again. Jace said nothing, only wrapped his arm around her shoulders and rested her head against his shoulder. He stroked her head hypnotically until she forgot about Simon. How could Jace be heartless and rude one second then kind and supported the next? Neither of them wanted to move so they just let the credits roll until they stopped. It was perfect, everything was perfect except Simon. She felt guilty laying there with the guy she loved were the guy who loved her was out there, broken hearted. They lay there in silence until Clary finaly gave into sleep letting Jace's soft stroke lull her to sleep.