A Helping Hand (Dan and Phil phanfic)

Failure

Phil couldnt get the image out of his head.

He paced up and down the room, thinking.

His arms were itching and burning at the same time. He felt a weird tingly feeling in his wrists.

His head was hurting but he couldnt stop thinking about Dan with him.

He wanted to scream.

Anger was building up inside him. He just wanted it to stop.

He sat down by the wall. He wanted the thoughts to stop.

He pulled on his hair hoping to distract from this living hell.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" He growled as he whacked his head against the wall with a thud.

He started scratching his arms, hoping the itch would go but it didnt.

He knew what he had to do.

He reached for his bag and realised he left the pencil sharpener at home.

There must be something in this room.

He headed to the bathroom and searched through the cupboard and to his delight, found a disposable razor.

He dropped it on the ground before stamping on it to free the blade.

He picked it up and smiled before dragging it across his arm several times, calming the itch.

He watched as the blood ran down his arm.

He stop and worried about what Dan would think if he found out, then he remembered.

He pulled the blade across his stomach and thighs too, causing small read rivers to connect across his body.

He felt alone. He didnt like it when he was alone. Bad things happen when youre alone.

He wanted to do it. To end it. Properly this time.

He'd already lost Dan, his mum, his friends,  he couldnt even do youtube anymore with fear of being attacked online. What else was there to lose?

He dragged the razor across his wrist, pressing as hard as he could, until he felt light headed.

He watched the blood pour out of the wound.

He did the same on the other side. He didnt cut as deep, he was feeling weak from the blood loss.

He stood up, feeling dizzy, and wobbled to the small balcony.

He stepped out in the fresh air and leaned on the railing.

He just had to gather strength to pull himself up.

He looked down at his feet. Red blood running down his sides from his wrists.

He felt the world spinning below him as he fell to his knees.

Even if he couldnt jump, there was no one here to stop him bleeding to death.

The pain was becoming unbearable. He held his head in his hands before he blacked out.

A/N ah! dont hurt me! ok I will try and update tonight but if I cant it will be up tomorrow ^_^