A Helping Hand (Dan and Phil phanfic)

New Start

Phil woke up and checked the time. 9:42am. He didnt have to meet Dans mum until 2.

He pulled on a shirt and found his camera out from his bag. He balanced it on the dresser and turned it on before sitting on the floor.

"Hey guys," He smiled. It felt good to say it again. "I havent posted a video in forever but I've been through a lot recently. Its not going to be a good video, just me talking for about 5 minutes and hoping it makes sense. As you probably know, late last year I..." He took a deep breath. "I tried to end it. I was in hospital for 5 weeks. What you wont know is at christmas I tried again. I was a lot closer to succeeding. My heart stopped. The doctors told me I was lucky they could save me. I didnt feel lucky. I felt pathetic. I couldnt do something so simple. While I was in hospital I had a heart attack. I made everything worse for myself." Phil wiped his face with both hands and took a deep breath. "It feels so good to get this out but at the same time Im terrified of what you'll think of me now. I felt like I had no one and its honestly the worst feeling in the world. I was wrong though. I did have someone. I had Dan. He was there for me in hospital both times I woke up. He did everything he could for me and now he's gone." He sighed. "Now I know he wouldnt want me sulking around all day but its hard. Its really hard. He was my everything and- I told myself I wouldnt cry-" He wiped his face. " He was my everything and hes gone and I feel like I have no one again.

Now it kills me to think that any of you guys could feel like this. I know much Dan meant to you. He meant the world to me- to us. To everyone. He could light up the room with his smile, everyone was always so happy when he was there and the only times I have truely been happy are when I was with him. Like I was saying, it kills me to think any of you could be feeling like this, thats why I am going to set up an email where you can talk to me and hopefully I can help and you never know, maybe you can help me too. You can send me anything you want and I will try and help. I havent set it up yet, but I will put a link in the description. I felt like I had no one and I dont want you feeling like that. I want to help and even if I only help one person, thats one life I hope to make better. I dont know if any of this makes sense. I hope it does..." He wiped his face again and smiled. "You guys mean the world to me and I just want to make sure youre all okay. I know I'm not.

I hope this works, bye guys." He turned off the camera.

A/N totally random but did anyone else cry at the radio show tonight? no? just me? oops....