[ worth it ] t.s / DISCONTINUED /

[5]

BRYDEES POV

'David I need to tell you something...' I say to David as he walks by my room. He stands in the doorway and I pat my bed wanting him to sit down beside me. 'What is it brydee...' He asks nervously.

'I haven't been telling you something. I'm sorry. I also wasn't planning on telling you but after today you need to know.' David looked at me worriedly so I kept going. 'I need to tell you about why what happened today happened...'

'Okay, Brydee I jut want you to know I'm sorry. Also I'll be here for you no matter what. I really will this time,' David replied and I gave him a half smile. 'Well... here goes nothing... After you left... About 2 or 3 months after you left I was diagnosed with severe anxiety... And my parents were told I could become depressed...' I said nervously. 'I started having these anxiety / panic attacks and my parents didn't really care honestly. They just saw it as me being an attention seeker and a drama queen and all that. They thought I was just some heartbroken attention seeking girl who just wanted sympathy... because this was only a little while after Timothy... The main cause for it all was Samantha... Timothy had made my heart ache. But Samantha made everything ache... You remember Sami yeh?' I ask, he nods and I keep going, 'Well one day... she got in a car crash... I was calling her and -' I started feeling tears spring to my eyes, ready to burst out at any moment. Just recounting this day made me cry. Every single time. David noticed and hugged me tightly.

I couldn't hold back any longer. I let loose. I cried, and I cried. And I cried. I cried about losing Sami. Losing Timothy. Losing Paul. Losing my parents love and respect. I liked to pretend it didn't phase me sometimes but really it did. Knowing that if LA didn't work out I didn't have anywhere to go was scary. I managed to stop crying and I took deep breaths. David just laid there next to me waiting for me to continue.

'So I was calling her because I must've remembered something I need to tell her... And she answered... But it wasn't her... It was a paramedic... And they told me that she was in a car crash... So I made mum drive me to the hospital and... After like 2 hours... Of waiting... She was allowed visitors... And her parents went in... And then she wanted to see me... And we talked... And the doctors said she should... Recover fine... But all of a sudden... Her voice got quieter and quieter... Until the only... Sound left in the room... Was the heart... Monitor... Going beep beep beep... And then... It stopped going beep beep beep... And it just went a long beep... And the doctors made me go away...' I said between sobs. I burst into tears letting it all loose again. That memory still haunts me at night... Her voice getting quiet, then not longer hearing her voice, then the beep beep beep, then the beep beep beep stopping...

'Its okay Brydee, it's okay I'm here' David said tracing circles on my back comfortingly as I cried into his chest. 'David... I saw... My... Best... Friend... Die!' I whispered in a hushed tone as I cried harder and harder into him.

'So I was diagnosed with severe anxiety... After Sami... Died... And Paul was the one who helped me through it. He was doing what you were doing. He would be there for me. Listening to me. Hugging me. Taking care of me. He always seemed so strong, like nothing could ever get to him... But then we got the call... And then I hit rock bottom. David, THE ONLY PERSON I HAD LEFT WAS GONE' I cried out the last part.

'I'll always be here for you Brydee. I'll never leave you. I'll never let you be that sad again.' David whispered into my ear as he tightened his grip on me. Some people would think that he was cheating on Liza if they walked in and saw us, but he was like a brother to me. And you don't just go round fucking your brother do you now?

'So a few days after Paul was gone... Like I said I had hit rock bottom... I was missing so much school I just dropped out... And that's when I decided I didn't want life anymore. Nothing was worth it...' I said and I heard David gasp. 'No... Brydee you didn't... No...' David said pushing away from me only to look me in my eyes. I nodded.