A Friendships Love - Settler series book 1 (Wattpad version, first draft)

Part two-The Road behind Me

Part two

The Road behind Me

I was on my knees leaning in front on one hand, and with the other, I was pulling weeds out from around the base of the headstone. Lady Townshend was kind enough to pay for the lovey stone slab. I was too distraught to, even think of these things at the time; Lady Townshend also, had it engraved on my behalf. It, read,

Anna Payton Martin

In loving memory of

Patrick Martin and her three children

Nash, Payton, and Baby Allen.

I hadn’t cried over her grave for a quite a few years now. I used to come here and talk to her, and cry, and tell her how much I missed her. But just as everyone had told me, the ache in my heart had slowly dulled. Even though, for a long time, I didn’t think the feeling would ever go away.  In fact, think I grew out of it.

Mama passed, shortly after the baby was born. And shortly afterwards, so did the baby. Mama started to hemorrhage, she had endured a long three day labour. The baby was breech and mama just couldn’t get him out, it took a while for him to be turned, and her screams would forever be in my dreams. When she finally did give birth, I was hastily passed the baby when it looked, as though, mama was in trouble. I took the new life, and cleared of his face, just like I was told. I whispered to him that his name was Allen, just like mama wanted. There was movement all around us, but through it, he never cried. He looked up to me for a brief moment, and in my deepest longing, I knew I saw him smile, and then shut his little eyes. I took his tiny fingers, and placed them in my hand, and held it. And then I focused on what was happening to mama. The midwife from the village, who also delivered Nash and myself looked to Lady Townshend and shook her head. I felt the room spin, i loosely clung to Allen and screamed. “NO, NO, NO! Not my mama.” Ashley came from behind, and hugged me tight and spoke words to me that I couldn’t comprehend. Lady Townshend came over and took baby Allen from my arms, and I raced over to embrace mama. I wrapped my arms around her torso. The smell of blood and mama mixed and filled my nose and mind. I could remember that smell enveloping me, crying into her still body, for what seemed like hours.

When I finally resolved myself to the fact that mama was gone. It was then, that I remembered the baby.  I turned to find whoever had the bundle that held my brother, determined to be strong for him.  But Lady Townshend suddenly filled my vision,  she pulled me to the closest chair, sat me on her lap, and told me that my brother had joined mama. It was strange, at first I just started at her. I felt, as though, I had no tears left to cry for him. I didn't think my heart could take the reality, of not being able to cry for my brother. Lady Townshend held me tight. I could hear whimpering from behind me. And then after a time, I felt Williams strong arms lift me up from his mother. I could only assume that he carried me all the way to the Manor. For the next thing I knew, I was waking in one of the guest rooms there. It was one that I had dusted and kept clean for years.  It became my room after that night. I never went back down to the cottage again.

The memories wrapped themselves around me, as, I cleaned up the tall grass that threatened to take over mama’s grave, if not controlled. But they didn’t hurt. They just hugged me, like, it was my mama holding me when I was upset.

I sat back on my heels and looked to the opposite side of mama’s grave to see Baby Allen's headstone again. I had already cleared the weeds from his. Lady Townsend chose the words for his head stone also, and I think they were perfect.

Baby Allen

I held your hand while you lived

And will miss you now you’re gone