Compulsions (Kellic & Cashby)

Chapter Ten

Kellin's POV

Vic gave me a long, drawn out kiss, his hands in my butt pockets as we stood in the middle of his bedroom. I still didn't know how I felt about Alan knowing about us, I was worried. I had told Alan that I thought he was ready to be out of therapy, but I wasn't so sure.  I think I told him to help him feel a little better, but I don't know if it was the best idea. And what made it worse was that he couldn't trust me or Vic anymore and I didn't know who he would be able to go to.

"Kells, quit stressing," Vic whispered, giving me a look.

"I'm not stressing." I lied and gave him a kiss.

"I've known you for a bit, Kellin Bostwick and I know for a fact that you're stressing out, you've got your stressed look on right now," he said.

"I do not."

"You do, what's going on?"

I groaned and leaned my head on his shoulder. "I'm just worried about Alan and his wellbeing."

"You said it yourself that he'll be fine. No need to stress."

"I know I said that, but I think," I bit my lip before I let out  sigh. "I think, I was wrong."

"Wrong?"

"I don't think he can handle not having someone to talk to. Alan likes to distance himself when he's upset and he's clearly upset still about us and I know what he does and I know that if we don't talk to him, or try to make this normal with him, he's going to shut both of us out," he said and gave me a look. "Does that make sense?"

"Kind of."

I blew a strand of hair out of my face. "Okay, Alan likes to push people away, right?"

"Yes."

"And, the more he sees us together, there's a chance he will get angrier. He could see us together and feel like we've both betrayed him, which can make it harder for him to believe that he can actually trust people, so he will start to push us away. He could potentially push that Austin guy away as well. This could result in him isolating himself which can cause his ocd to grow worse than it already is. He told me before how bad he used to be when it came to his OCD before he started seeing people, there's a chance he could go back to that state of obsession," I rambled.

"Babe, I think he's gonna be okay. He's been at Austin's for like the past two weeks basically, so it's okay. He'll be home soon and everything will be okay."

"Exactly! He's been at Austin's because he's closing himself off from you and I both. I'm worried Victor," I told him, trying not to sound irritated.

"Or maybe he just wants to be with his boyfriend. This is one of the best relationships he's had."

"I know, I know," I groaned. "But looking at this at at a psychological standpoint, it's worrisome."

"Then don't look at it like that."

"I can't not look at it like that."

"You can try."

"I'm a psychologist, Vic, I can't help it."

He sighed, "I know."

"Sorry," I muttered.

"It's okay."

"If you say so," I said and pulled him closer. "So, you have to go back to work tomorrow, right?" I asked, changing the subject.

"I sadly do."

"So, does this mean tonight you're going to be doing a final once over on all those essays?" I asked him, smirking just a bit.

"It does."