When love is not enough

Ch. 2

"Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark."  George Iles

Ch. 2

At the beginning it was so hard running, moving form place to place, not having any one care about me or love me. Now it's so easy. Theres just this emptiness, and while running away I found the emptiness to be a god sent. I didn't want to feel the pain of being me any more. I wanted to find the light but if just seemed impossible with all the shadows, emptiness. there was just no end to it all.

So slowly the hope fades, slowly the darkness will swallow me whole but not today. Today will be the day I hold on until I'm faced with the next. My mother told me only quitters give up and she didn't raise any quitters. Her memory always gave me the fight to push my demons away at least for today. I'll worry about tommorrow, tommorrow.

"Mum how I wish you were here with me right now."  I said as I stared in the mirror regretting the decisions I made to lead me here but I always remember she didnt raise a quitter so I took a big breathe and let it out and got on with my morning routine.

I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around me and walked over to my tiny closet. I picked out my usual outfit which entails a hoodie, baggie jeans tights underneath a tank and undergarmets and converse.

I unpacked my duffel about a week ago after being in Iron wood a month without incidents I knew it would be ok to stay for atleast another month. I have no Idea how I know but I do. I kinda liked the woodsyness of it. At the back of the little cabin I rented was the woods and the paths they had led to little pnds or waterfalls and nice camping sites. It was a really cute spot, a little ways from town, just how I like it but a 15min run to the train stations which time tables I had memorized the second day I was here. 

The people were generally friendly and they loved to talk and gossip but I guess after a month the gossip switched to who was knocked up instead of the stranger that moved in from no where. Up till this day Mrs. Belle the grocery clerk is asking about my husband and when hes coming to visit or if my boyfriend will come up for the weekend. I swear the women can make a priest swear and curse himself to the grave and back. I learned long ago how to deflect but she still gives me a run for my money.

After getting dressed I lefted the bedroom and entered the kitchen and picked up an apple and started eating, while glancing at the clock. 

'Shit' I mumbled as I realized I would be late if I didn't hurry, with that thought in mind I dashed out the cabin making sure all the windows and doors were locked and that I had the keys with me. Running towards town while still tring to eat an apple is not a bright idea but aw well. 

I arrived at the grocery store with just enough time to spare. After a week of being here I looked for a job and found one. I think Mrs. Belle just gave it to me because she wanted to know everything about me but that hasn't happened and I don't think she can fire me without a cause and I do my job perfectly. 

"Morning J" 

"Morning Mrs. Belle"

"how did you sleep last night?"

"The usual"

" oh honey did you hear the karly got knocked up by fred?" she asked, her eyes wide as saucers, like that was surprising.

" no I didn't. I saw her yeterday at the studio and she was praticing." I commented tring to get her to stay on topic and not start talking about me again

"Did you know that Stacey and Fred were supposedly together?" she asked again wanting some input. I just shook my head and headed over to the aisles not really wanted to talk about all that and started claening up. Befor I knew it, it was 3 o'clock.