Spongebob x Squidward 😂

Im ready im ready im ready

Spongebobs POV
"HOOOLNNNKKLK" I jumped up out of bed as my alarm went of accidenlty stepping on Gary cracking his shell. "Meeooowwww" Gary said in pain "WELL GOD DAMN IT GARY MOVE YOUR FAT ASS OFF THE FUCKING GROUND OR NEXT TIME I WILL FRY YOU AND FEED YOU TO THAT FAT FUCK PATRICK!! Heheh" I screamed at my beloved pet and giggled thinking of my chubby best pal ever Patrick star. Something didn't feel right I NEVER before used colorful language but now I feel. Hip and young like a gangster maybe... or maybe I'm becoming like Squidward! I like Squidward.. I feel so empty now I have no clue why. I mean maybe I'm getting older, maybe it's the change of my friends behaviors. Sandy gave up science and is now a stripper she even changed the name of her tree dome to "Nuts and stuff". Larry deals sea weed now and was recently arrested for being on steroids at his weight lifting my competitions. Mrs.puff was charged with man slaughter of her husband. Pearl became emo and was stealing from me.krabs, dyed her hair black, got tattoos, and tried to kill her self more than once so mr.krabs sent her to an insane asylum. So maybe it's time o changed too... I thought. Yes that's it! I will start cussing, dating, doing the fuck I want. If I wanna smoke sea weed I will! If I wanna drug the pattys at work I will! If I want to date Squidward I fucking will!!!!! With that thought I went and got dressed in my usual outfit but dropped the belt so my pants sagged. And I was SO savage I didn't brush my teeth! I went out the door drinking a bottle of vodka and I little girl ran up to me and said "SPINGEBOB PLAY KICKBALL WITH US PLLLEAASE!" I usually would have but I hurt felt sick to look at the mistakes face. So I broke the glass bottle from the alchol in her face she went down blood pouring from her face. I just laughed. I arrived at work and went to the kitchen and snuck into mr.krabs office and grabbed his pills that make you poop. I crushed them up and mixed them in with the party meat and served them to the customers. You should've seen it! The lines to the bathrooms were SO LONG mr.krabs started paying for them to use the bathroom. Squidward was even laughing that's when he looked at me and said "I like this new spongebob you know? It's raveshing actually u are acting so cool now and to be honest i like it" he said. I knew Squidward was gay AF everyone did I figured he slept with his Clarinet but that would be changing soon. I mean I'm gay too and Squidward, was ALWAYS HOT. I blushed as he did to and I said "then you fucking better meet me outside after work. We will go to the fucking club and back to my place... if u know what I mean" I said with a smirk Squidward blushed and said "oh okay....daddy" I blushed and went back into the kitchen. I never knew Squidward was such a man whore!!

The day was over and mr.krabs kissed us goodnight like he always does and I met Squidward outside as we walked to "nuts and stuff" when we got there sandy waltzed over to us and said "hi ya boys what can I get you" she said flirting with Squidward. I got mad and kicked sandy in the chest and yelled "YOU FRIDGID BITCH BACK TF OFF MY SQUID THOSE TENTACLES ARE MINE YOU HOE NOW RUN BACK RO THAT FUCKING TREADMILL WHERE YOU BELONG YOU SAD SQUIRREL WHILE YOUR AT IT DRINK SOME BLEACH BIATCH!!" I sat down and puffed out my chest as sandy ran away with rope, bleach, and a gun. Oh well Squidward said "thanks spongedaddy" he said with a wink and he scooted closer to me "we need 12 rounds over here!" I yelled at the bar tender music began to play so I got up and started twerking as Squidward and I became drunk. Suddenly we heard I've the speaker "FOR ALL YOU KINKY GAY ASS MEN OUT THERE HERE IS OUT NUNBER ONE DADDY STRIPPER, PATRICK DAD STAR!!" You and squid looked over the stage and sure enough saw Patrick strutting the stage but as he broke the stage as he strutted to much. You laughed and. Yelled "KILL YOURSLEF YOU FAT FUCKER!" Squidward laughed to and you and him left to go back to your pineapple.

Back at your pineapple you tend in your jacuzzi and got in as Squidward followed "I had fun sponge" Squidward said relaxing next to you. "Me too" you agreed settling back as your skin soaked up the water. "Let's get some sleep" Squidward said "or not" you argued pulling a bag of sea weed out of your butt Squidward stated smoking the whole bag and was soon claiming he saw Dora and dr.phil making out in the closet.we ended up crashing on my floor .

//////////////////|-/\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ A/N Hey so this story is just a joke Bc I'm lame and have no life 😂 so yeah like I hate myself now for making this but like I'm chill at the same time. Bye ✌️