Crazy Feelings

Chapter Twenty Five

He comes close to me and I put my hand out to stop him but he's stronger. "If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me anymore then I'll leave. I'll leave you alone. I won't stop loving you, but I'll leave." He says and looks into my eyes.

"I uh-" 

--

"I uh- Shawn you can't expect me to be able to answer that." I say softly and look down at my feet. "Well then I guess there's only one way to find out." "Wha-" I was cut off by his lips crashing against mine. 

The kiss felt like nothing I've ever felt before. It was as if all the problems in the world were suddenly solved, but at the same time it felt like a poison spreading through my body. I find myself kissing back for a moment and when I do, I pull away.

I do still love Shawn, and that's the problem. I can't love Shawn anymore after everything that has happened. I've been hurt to many times and I don't think my heart can bear it anymore.

"I know you felt that Bella" Shawn says and I can't bring myself to look at him. "Shawn go." I say so softly that it's almost a whisper. "Bella you still love me don't deny it!" Shawn says.

He tries to grab my hand but I jerk it away. Tears fill up my eyes and I wipe one that rolls down my cheek. "Shawn I said go!" I say louder this time. I go and open the door and he stands still in his place.

"Bella" he looks at me with eyes full of both tears and sorrow. "Please Shawn. Go." I say and we make eye contact one last time and he walks out the door.

As soon I shut it I put my back on the door. I slide down onto the ground and break down into tears. Why did he have to do this now? It's not that I don't want to be with him, it's that I can't. 

To many things have gone wrong and I guess it's all just been a sign that we don't belong together or something.

I know one day I'll be over Shawn. Hopefully. Until then I'll just sit here and cry over the guy I thought was suppose to be the one.

--

-Fast Forward eight months-

"Okay well how about these?" Tom says and comes out of the dressing room in bright neon yellow shorts. "Oh my gosh!" I bust out laughing so hard. 

"Looks good right?" He says and spins around. "Yes absolutely! If you're trying to look like a highlighter." I say and we both start laughing.

"Okay okay I should probably actually try on some good clothes." He says and walks back into the dressing room. 

So just to catch you up I have a boyfriend now. We've been dating for six months. His name is Tom Holland, yes the actor. The one who plays the new Spider-Man. 

He's kind, funny, caring, honest, generous, and understanding. We have our couple moments when we get aggravated with eachother, but we always work it out. 

He always knows how to make me laugh. We are going to the Spider-man movie premiere tonight and right now we are shopping for clothes.

"So has he found anything yet?" Kathy one of my good friends and personal stylist comes and asks me.

"No not yet, but he's trying on clothes right now. "Hasn't he been trying on clothes for a while now?" She asks and laughs a little.

"Yeah well we were kind of just joking around, but he's really trying on clothes now." I say and laugh. "Of course. So have you looked at the dresses yet?" She asks me.

"Not yet, I was going to wait on Tom. He'll probably be a while though so I'll go ahead and go." I say and she nods.

I walk out of the dressing room area and over to the women's clothes. I start looking through all of the beautiful dress. I pull one out and it's absolutely stunning.