Crazy Feelings

Chapter Twenty Three

Bella's POV

What am I going to say? What if it's not real and he gets upset that I didn't trust him? I have to know though.

I pull into the garage and practically jump out of the car. I walk in the house and Shawn is exactly where I left him.

"Hey where are all the groceries? Do you need help getting them from the car?" He says and gets up from the couch. "Shawn what's this?" I say and show him a picture on my phone, the same one that the girls showed me.

"W-where did you find that?" He asks with a shocked expression on his face. "It's everywhere! What I want to know is what it's all about!" I raise my voice and he doesn't move a muscle.

"Bella it's not what it looks like." Shawn takes a step towards me but I take a step back. "Really because it looks like you sucking the face off of Camila!" I can tell he doesn't know what to say.

"Are you just going to stand there?! Tell me this isn't real! Tell me that it's all fake and that you'd never do this to me!" I yell and he just looks down at his feet.

"I can't do that." He whispers and a tear falls from his eyes. My eyes water up making my vision blurry. I try to blink away the years but they just flow from my eyes.

"Well then I can't do this anymore." I say and turn and walk upstairs. "Wait Bella I'm sorry!" He says and follows me. "Sorry doesn't fix things Shawn." I say and get out my bags.

"I know it doesn't but I don't know what else to say." He says and grabs my arm. I look at his face and I his eyes are filled with tears. "I need you Bella." He says softly. 

"Shawn stop. I'm leaving." I say and push him out of my room. I shut the door and lock it. Tears are streaming down my face as I pack my things. I put as much as I can Into my bags and zip them up.

As soon as I finish I open the door and there he is waiting. I walk around him as quickly as possible. "Can we please talk about this?" Shawn says as he follows me down the stairs.

"No we can't. I know how things will go. You'll says sorry, I'll think about it and forgive you and then a few months from now we'll go through this again. I'm leaving Shawn...and this time I'm not coming back." I say and walk out to my car.

He didn't chase me. He didn't try to make me stay. All he did was nothing. All he did was lie. All he did was cheat. All I can do is move on. It won't be easy, but I have to.

A few miles down the road I had to pull over because my eyes were filled with so much tears that I couldn't see clearly. Now I sit here on the side of the road crying my eyes out. 

I loved him and I thought he loved me. 

--

Shawn's POV

I screwed up. I screwed up big time. What the hell was I thinking!?

She's gone and she's not coming back. I didn't even say anything to make her stay. I just stood there like an idiot. I had a great girl that I could call mine and now she's gone.

Every time I looked at her I could see the hurt in her eyes. Just the thought that I hurt her like that makes my blood boil. I promised her that I would never hurt her again. I broke that promise.

I know if I text or call she won't answer. She doesn't want to talk to me right now either. I should probably give her some space. 

"Why am I so stupid?!" I yell at myself and punch the wall my fist went through the wall sending pain all through my hand. "Crap!" I pull my hand out and clean it off. 

Why would I ever do something like to Bella. It was a stupid mistake. I've made to many mistakes. 

I really hope she can forgive me for what I did.

--

Bella's POV

I drove to the only person here  I really trust. The only thing is that he's really good friends with Shawn. That's why I'm sitting in the driveway of his apartment building debating on weather I should go in.

I finally decide to go in. I grab my bags and walk inside. The lady at the front desk gave me weird look, probably because I have makeup running down my face.

I go up to his apartment and knock on the door. 

"Bella?" "Hey Brian. I uh- I need a place to stay." I say and look down at the ground. "Of course, come in. I- I assume you saw the picture?" When he says this I turn and look at him. "You know?" I say and I'm about to cry again. 

"I think everyone does. I'm really sorry Bella, you don't deserve this." As soon as he said it he extended his arms out knowing that I need a hug. I ran into his arms and immediately broke down.

We both sit on the floor, me still crying into his chest. "Why did he do it? I don't understand." I say through my tears. "I don't know. I know that he regrets it though." 

I cried some more and then wiped up my tears. "Sorry Bri, I got makeup all over your shirt." I say and he looks down at the big makeup stain on his shirt.

"It's cool" he says and laughs a little.  "So what are you going to do?" He asks and I lean back up against the wall. "I'm definitely not going back to him that's for sure. I just can't." I say and look up at the ceiling.

"I understand. Shawn is my best friend, but what he did was wrong." "Brian?" "Yeah?" "Did you know? When it was happening, did you know?" When I ask this he looks down at his feet.

"Yes. I told him that he needed to tell you himself or I would." I nod in response and we don't  look at eachother for a moment. "How long has this been going on?" "Bella maybe we shouldn't talk ab-" "Brian how long has it been happening?" I say and I can hear in my own voice that I'm going to start crying again.

"About a month or so." "Wow." I whisper and look straight ahead. "I'm sorry." Brian says softly. "It's not your fault." "Do you need me to do anything? Talk to Shawn?" "No. I don't even want him to know that I'm staying here." I say and he nods.

"Alright well the guest room is ready for you to stay in. You can stay as long as you need." He says and we both get up from the floor. "I'll only be here for a coupe of weeks, then I leave for London for a few months." I say and grab my bags from the floor.

"Are you going to talk to Shawn before then?" He asks me. "I don't know yet. I just need to think right now." I say and he nods. I make my way to the guest room and set my bags down on the bed.

I'm still having a bit of a hard time processing everything that has just happened. Maybe the three months that I'll be in London will help me get over Shawn.

I have to move on.

--

Brian's POV

She's hurting. Shawn is like my brother but what he did was awful. Part of me wants to go and knock him the freak out, but part of me knows that it would only hurt Bella even more.

When she showed up at my door she looked a mess. I don't have a problem with her staying here because  she's like a sister, but I don't want her to leave for London like this.

Bella asked me not to tell Shawn she's here and I won't, for now at least. All I want to do is the right thing for the both of them. 

--

Will Brian tell Shawn that Bella is staying at his place? Will Bella ever forgive Shawn?

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