Tales From Oblivion: Winfred SharkMan

The Fountain

Winfred crouched low in the fountain as the cool water lapped up against his, quite frankly, gargantuan nose. Seriously, the thing was the same size as his entire head. If he were to lie down and let only his nose part the water's surface he would greatly resemble a shark. Interestingly enough, his shark-like nose ended up contributing to his last name: SharkMan.

Winfred had never met his parents and, therefore, never learned his true name. Abandoned at birth as he was, likely due to the offensive size of his smeller, the homeless of the city raised him as their own. Old Man Johan, the eldest of the homeless, named the large-nosed baby, in a feat of extraordinary creativity, Fred.

Winfred went by Fred until he discovered an aptitude for gambling and scavenging for money at the age of ten. People began to tag on a 'win' at the beginning of his name until the entire city knew him as Win Fred. When he turned twelve, he started introducing himself as Winfred.

Of course, his last name didn't become SharkMan just because the ridiculous size of his nose. For one, the neon blue tinge of his skin made it impossible to discern his race, which was typically how the orphans of the streets got their last names. For example, Winfred's childhood best friend, George DeftNord, earned his name through his lock picking skills and Nordic disposition. As such, Winfred had to acquiesce to Old Man Johan's suggestion to make Man the suffix of his last name.

The true origin of the first half of his surname was his true talent: Hiding in wishing fountains and stealing the coins people threw in. Many considered it to be in bad taste or even claimed it would bring bad luck, but Winfred was damn good at it and he didn't believe in concepts like luck or karma. He could hold his breath longer than anyone else as he waited for coins to fall, which led some to speculate that he may be part Argonian. His blue skin acted as camouflage as he sat stock-still in the water, the ripples on the surface concealing him as he collected gold by the fistful.

However, since his clothes only hindered him, he often wore nothing more than a cloth to cover his unmentionables. This... led to some problems. Namely being stopped by guards as he wandered the city half-naked. They typically thought he was either drunk or on skooma and just left him to his own devices, much to his relief.

At least, until one of them decided to follow him and caught him in the act. Before he could explain why he was in a fountain wearing nothing but his underwear while a pack of highborn children tossed coins into the water, the guard had already drawn his sword. Winfred surrendered as quickly as he could and agreed to go to jail, as he could not afford to pay the fine with what he had on his person.

They forced him into an uncomfortably itchy but mercifully clean set of clothes and threw him into an old cell in the dungeon.

That was when the voices started.

"OH MY GOD HIS NOSE!"