Supernatural One Shots

I'm A Goner (BSM)

Pairings: Brother!Winchesters x Sibling! Reader 

Warnings: Death, alcoholism, panic attacks

Age 15

Gone.

The words still rang out in your head, playing over and over like a broken record.

How could they be gone?

You, (y/f/n) (y/m/n) Winchester, just lost your best friend, (b/f/n). He/she was always there for you, whether it be bullies, homework, even when you argued with your brothers. But you weren't there for them, not this time.

(B/f/n) had known you were a hunter, in fact, they envied it. Moving from crappy motel to motel, always about to die? He/she always wished they could be apart of it despite how bad you made it sound. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe you didn't make it sound bad enough, or maybe you should have kept your mouth shut. 

Four days had passed since you received the heartbreaking call from (y/b/f)'s mother and you had not left your room in the bunker since. Sam and Dean were on a hunt, due to return tomorrow. They'd left the day you got the news, which was why you had denied going along with them. 

It's your fault. 

Despite all the times that you scolded your brothers for getting drunk to subdue their feelings, you'd found yourself wandering into the kitchen at four in the morning. Thoughts raced through your head, none of them good, and you could not seem to stop yourself from grabbing the closest bottle of alcohol near you. 

You let them go, you let them die. 

The guilt didn't wash away with the first bottle, but three more in and you were starting to forget for the time being. It seemed like a faded reality that happened years ago.

*Flashback*

"You can't control me!" (Y/b/f) screamed at you from across the room, chucking a pillow towards your face. 

It was Friday night and (Y/b/f) had managed to find a werewolf hunt, wanting to go on it with just you and her. Of course, you denied the idea instantly, telling him/her that it was a terrible idea and that they'd only get hurt. This began the argument. 

"(Y/b/f)! It is dangerous! You can't seriously be that dense!" You screamed back, dodging the pillow only to be stabbed with guilt at the hurt look washing over his/her face. 

"You really are selfish, aren't you, (y/n)?" They snap, shaking their head and grabbing their bag. 

They were supposed to spend the night in the Bunker with you, only to surprise you with the idea of sneaking past your brothers and out into the night to kill a possible werewolf two states over. 

"How am I selfish? By wanting to keep you safe? Besides, how would even sneak past Sam and Dean, or get two states over and back before they wake up?" Each flaw you named twisted (Y/b/f)'s expression from that of hurt to rage. 

"Fine! I'll go myself, with or without you! Sam and Dean can't stop me, they're not my brothers. Plus there's no way you could tell this to my parents without it looking bad on you guys, so bye!" With that said, (Y/b/f) stormed out of your room. 

You were hot on their trail, yelling at them to come back, to stop and think about it, but they did not listen. Your yelling woke Sam and Dean up, causing them to come in and see what was going on. They find you yelling at the Bunker door that had been slammed only moments before. 

"Go then! See if I care when you come crawling back after seeing what it does to you..." Your voice had faded away, cracking as your anger seeps out, replaced with guilt and worry. 

"(Y/n)? what's going on, kid?" Dean asks, coming up behind you with Sam at his side, also worried. 

"(Y/b/f) went home," Is all you say before turning around and walking away, back into your room where you half-heartedly cleaned up before lying on your bed.

*Flashback Over*

Sobs fall drunkenly from your lips, freezing water running over your head, soaking the clothes you'd wear to bed. You were now six bottles in, barely holding yourself to sit in the tub, the shower head pouring water over your head, crying your eyes out. How could this happen? 

The cold water had numbed you, the alcohol in your system making you feel nauseous and faint. You couldn't remember where you were or what had happened, just that you were cold and unwell. 

The screams in your head too loud, you were unaware of the Bunker door opening and slamming shut, your two brothers walking and calling your name. When they didn't receive an answer from you, or see your form sprawled out on the couch with a book in hand, they began to worry. 

The last thing you remember before passing out was the door to the bathroom bursting open and the worried faces of your brothers coming into view. Then, it all went dark.

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This is dark and depressing and I am sorry. Also, when I put BSM I mean Brother-Sibling-Moment, because most if not all my oneshots are pretty gender neutral for boys, girls, and others. Anyways, thank you all so much for reading and remember:

~We will Avenge and Prevail, we are the Fallen Angels~

-TheHumanExperiment1