I'm Obsessed With You

Five

➵

"Why don't we just carpool?" Julian asked himself as he drove behind Tom's car for nearly the entire stretch to their homes. Wouldn't it make sense to just hop in the same car and pretend to care about the environment?

He forgot his own question as soon as he was in the elevator. Tom had promised a call, and even further, a second chance for Julian to get his feelings out in the open. He already promised himself he wasn't going to run away and cry the night away, he had no reason to. Tom was handling everything so well, and as he did his arm was stretched out, helping Julian without looking like he was putting in all that much effort.

Julian appreciated it. He needed someone to keep him grounded, it was Tom, it was always him who would snap Julian back into reality. If Tom had avoided him after the kiss, didn't talk to him or give him a smile when they made eye contact, Julian wasn't sure how he'd take it. He'd probably cry some more, feel even more embarrassed than he did initially.

He couldn't imagine what it would have been like if Tom told someone, besides maybe Danny, the gossip would have been spread throughout the Patriots locker room and maybe even beyond. He didn't think he could handle the stares, the whispers and pointing that were sure to come with that. Then of course, the teasing and chirping in the dressing room, the field, at any outing ever. There was no doubt that they'd poke fun at his sexuality even though he himself didn't even look at it that way. He'd be subject to constant ridicule and a never ending paranoia that everyone on the team was talking about his crush on Tom. One thing would lead to the next and it would blow up.

But he wouldn't have to deal with that. Tom hadn't said anything because he cared enough to see that Julian didn't leave it all on the table, the kiss wasn't all there was. He was willing to hear what was really in Julian's head, what his heart was really saying. He was nice enough to give Julian a chance.

His hopes were up, which could have been a good or bad thing. It easily could have gone either way. He just couldn't shake the feeling that Tom wanted to hear what Julian had to say because he felt something too. Whether it was just the kiss, throughout the off season, maybe even long, like a year or two or three. He knew it couldn't have been the whole eight years like himself, but he truly believed that there was something on Tom's end too. He hoped that whenever they got together, wherever they got together, he wouldn't be the only one doing the talking. 

He made his way to his room once the elevator doors slid open. His apartment just a few degrees cooler than the hallway. For some reason it was hard for him to fall asleep if the room was at all too hot, yet he always complained that the nights were cold. The perfect fix would be a Tom Brady sharing the bed with him, but he wouldn't kick at that just yet.

His first matter of business was to sit down, flip on the television and do some much needed relaxing. Though it was less than a week since his 'bad day', it felt like much longer that he had any down time all to himself. There was something about draping yourself on the couch, putting someone on the screen that you may or not have really cared enough to watch, and just sitting there blocking out your own thoughts that was unbelievably comforting.

Blocking out his thoughts weren't easy, impossible really. There was too much that he needed to figure before Tom hit him with the phone call. Since he had no idea when that would be, he pulled himself off the leather of the couch pretty quickly after getting comfortable. His feet took lazy steps, barely lifting off the floor and leaving a trail through the barely noticeable layer of dust that had collected. His hand connected with the handle of the fridge and he began collecting ingredients for a smoothie and made himself a sandwich.

He stood at the counter, yet to clean up anything he'd brought out. The sand which was gone within the minute of making it but there was still a good amount left of the smoothie when the call did come. Julian was surprised, it was barely over an hour since practice had ended, he expected to be waiting all night.