Have Faith

Chapter 15

"Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone." Savage Garden, Crash and Burn

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Chapter Fifteen

"Hark! The herald angels sing. Glory to the newborn King!" sang Cassian's household as they stood around the long kitchen table that was so decadently laid out with such exquisite looking food.

The cook, Mrs Simpkins, had prepared a feast for the servants at Cassian's request. Glazed ham, pork, roasted vegetables, gravy and pies, both savoury and sweet, were all set out for them to enjoy.

Faith had not seen such a meal in a very long time. The food was an incredible sight, and her stomach screamed with excitement just to see it, but what made her heart melt was seeing Lucy.

Lucy had never really celebrated Christmas. Faith had always taken her to a church service, but she had never been able to afford to buy a decent meal, or to give her a special gift.

Lucy had never minded. Of course, she was too young to know different, or have expectations, but it made Faith's heart happy to see her daughter in receipt of something that Faith could not have given her without help.

Lucy was gleefully clapping, sitting on the forearm of Mr Wade as he held her during the song. She was so happy and excited, her brown eyes darting around the room with wonder as they took in the wonder.

Faith was very grateful to Cassian's butler, Mr Wade. Lucy had become so used to spending her days with Cassian. She had been so unsure and distressed at the sudden change to her routine when Cassian had abruptly left London without so much as a goodbye.

Perhaps Lucy was not the one who missed receiving the goodbye, but she certainly did miss spending time with Cassian. She and Faith shared that feeling.

Mr Wade had only been too happy to step in to help with Lucy in the interim. To Faith's understanding, Mr Wade was unmarried, and had no children. He had formed a special attachment to Lucy, and Lucy seemed to like him in return. She often played with Mr Wade's ears and nose, and he did not seem to mind at all. In fact, he laughed.

Faith sat down at the table as the meats were carved and served. She had been certain that Cassian would have returned for Christmas. He had been gone a month. That time had given Faith enough of a chance to gain some perspective.

She had been angry that he had gone to another on the day he had proposed marriage to her. She still was. But she now could understand why he had behaved this way.

Cassian had lived a life filled with rejection. Cassian had survived on his own, never having experienced acceptance, and being cast aside and dismissed as a filthy urchin. Faith had shown him kindness in a way that Cassian had never before experienced.

Cassian had therefore carried this image of Faith ever since, an image that she could not possibly live up to. He thought her an angel. He had named his factory after her! Cassian held Faith in such high esteem that when she disappointed him, he responded in a way that was entirely out of character.

Faith needed to tell Cassian the truth. She needed to tell everyone the truth. She had known that she owed it to Cassian to confess, but she had always resisted, failed at the crucial moment.

She would not fail if she were given another chance. Faith trusted Cassian with her child. To anyone else, it might simply be a kind act of child minding, but to Faith, trusting another with her child was no simple feat.