Special (Scott McCall)

Chapter 34

Carter's P.O.V

I woke up in my own home, alone, on my bathroom floor. Although my vision was hazy, I could see the blood on the tile. I'm all too familiar with the vivid dark crimson color. I slowly pushed my healing body into a standing position, gripping on the sink counter to pull up my extra weight. My body aches in pain as I stand fully, looking at my reflection in the mirror.
Blood covers my clothes and my body, it's under my nails, across my cheek.. there's a scratch on my neck, it's healing. I look at all my wounds but never at the face that would be staring back at me, eyes purposely avoiding the very reflection that is me. I turn the knob on to get the water as hot as I possibly can into my single porcelain bath tub and I add a few drops of bubbles. I watch the water foam before stripping out of the bloodied clothes until I'm completely naked. I turn and walk back into my bedroom and grab the little box on the bottom shelf of my night stand.
I turn on The Worst by Jheńe Aiko to start my playlist and I bring the speaker into the bathroom. I turn off the knob as the water almost reaches the brim, just how I like it. I climb in and instantly relax into the tub, hissing because the hot water burned my wounds but soon easing because the water relaxes my pain. I reach over and grab the little box off the nook next to the tub. I flip the top and reach in, instantly feeling slight relief from the object in my hand.

Inhale. Hold it. Blow it out. I take long puffs of the magical tree wrapped in a beautiful leaf and feel my problems lift off my shoulders. Only for a moment though. The thought alone makes me shiver as I reach over to put out the smoke.
Just breathe Carter, you've got this. My attempts aren't very captivating and I find myself still feeling numb. My chest is hollow, there's nothing left. He took it. My heart is nothing but a full beat in a numb drum.
But I'm stronger then that, and no one can ever take my power away from me. I'm numb now but I'm more ruthless than ever.
I grip the edges of the tub as I lean my back against it, I run my fingers over the ridges as I slowly get lower. The water almost covering my head.
I am ruthless.
And with that thought..

I sink.