The Messy Bun Days - Book 1

The Invisible Wish

Fear fills me through and through,

As I lay in bed confused.

The numbness I had is leaving me,

The walls I built around me are breaking,

And slowly I'm beginning to feel- once again.

Although memories come back to me,

And the reasons why I chose this solitude,

Echo in the recess of my mind,

I fear this time it is not enough to help me escape

The confrontations I have always avoided.

All I want to do is walk away.

Which till now has not been an incident rare.

But this once mastered art seems to have left its artist.

And thus like a traitor so much like a Brutus,

Stabbed another Ceaser in betrayal- though unfortunately not with killing intent.

Before their time I see them.

I see my cat- his furry figure white as snow,

Speckled with brown here and there- lay,

As still as the floor that holds him.

I see my dear little sister- still unsure of my disposition!

I see my mother- still decisive and calculating, but praying.

I see my father- still hoping in spite of my own lack of faith.

And I see my dear beloved cousin- still wiping away my tears and fighting away my fears,

With no more than a smile upon her lips,

Standing by me,

A silent guardian watchful.

Nursing an animal with more scars than he would care to exhibit.

All of them I see, 

Their faces so white,

Their dark eyes so grey.

A sight so distant from now.

And yet I am somehow compelled to believe in its overwhelming proximity,

And wonder in despair.

Fear fills me through and through,

As I lay in bed confused.

Asking "why?"- a question answered long ago.

Still I am unwilling to stand by breathing,

As I watch them, one by one, abandoning me for an eternity.

If nothing else, 

I have learned Time to be my greatest adversary.

So I humbly pray,

For Time to be my greatest teacher.