Humanity Soup

.

thump thump

A little wet hammer hits a cloth
I really love that sound

My back can feel the cold metal table
through my thin pink gown
with my legs spread out
before a stranger
with his ice instruments

I make eye contact with the buzzing lights
and I count in my head
The nurses walk in to talk to me
"Your mother loves you very much."
All of my limbs are limp and held down
so they can be buckled to the table
Nurse 1 pulls out a needle for me
I focused on that stinging sensation
of when she pushed the skinny needle into my arm

"You will be out soon, sweetie. It's gonna be all right."
Before I went under
I remember feeling one hot
wet tear roll down the
side of my face