Shy

Ch.3

I walked through those same school doors and as I waked the hallway I could feel my anxiety bubbling up. I walked to my class and as I rounded the corner I saw him. He was laughing with his friends and smiling and my god how I loved his smile. He waved goodbye to his friends and walked my way and I crossed my fingers hoping he would say something to me or even wave. He walked right by me and said nothing and didn't even look my way. I could feel my heart break a little more as I thought about us. One day we were fine and laughing and the next he wouldn't even look at me. Thoughts rushed through my head and it hurt knowing how fast he moved on.
I walked into class with a heavy heart and a clouded head. I did the work for that day and made my way to my next class.
I walked the hallway and I rounded a corner and bumped right into somebody and I fell to the ground. Everybody started laughing and I could feel the tears coming, so I got up and hurried to the bathroom. I was having an anxiety attack and I was having a hard time breathing. It felt like the walls were caving in and everything felt like it was spinning. I tried calming myself down, but the tears only came faster. It took 10 minutes to clam down and by the time I made it to class I was 15 minutes late, but no one even noticed.

I stepped out of the class and went to lunch which I hated, but at the same time I liked because I didn't have to do work. I never ate lunch and it wasn't just because of my anxiety, but because of my eating disorder too. I sat down and I looked around the lunchroom as everybody came in. I would sometimes find myself wondering what some of there life's are like and how they're doing and just wondering. I looked down at my phone and tried to block everybody out, but then I heard them. It was the guy that broke my heart and the girl that use to be my best friend. I looked up and saw them talking and laughing and the girl looked my way and rolled her eyes. The girls name was Maya and we use to be friends till I found out she was quite disturbing and would talk about creepy things. The guy his name is Kaden and we had something once, but I was so stupid to believe his words. I looked back down at my phone and remembered a time with him.

I made my way to early lunch since I had to get on the bus and head to another school to go to another class. I sat down at a table away from everyone because of my anxiety and pulled out my phone. I looked at Instagram and some other stuff on my phone till someone sat down at my table. I looked up to see Kaden and his friend sit down in front of me.
"Why aren't you eating?"  He asked while picking up his sandwich.
"Oh uh I don't eat lunch." I smile and looked back at my phone.
"Why?" He asked and grabbed my phone.
"Hey!" I said and he smirked knowing I didn't like it when he did that ever since the accident.
I reached for my phone, but he was faster than me and I missed. "Kaden give me my phone back." I asked politely.
"I will if you promise to do me a favor." I rolled my eyes knowing it wouldn't be good.
"What kind of favor?" I asked looking at him. "I'll tell you when I need a favor." I rolled my eyes again and he just kept looking at me. I tried not to smile, but I couldn't resist seeing his face.
"Ha! I got you to smile!" He smiled and handed my phone back to me. "Amber you should smile more." I laughed at his remark.
"And why is that?" I asked turning my head towards him. "Because you have a beautiful smile." I could feel my face getting hot so I grabbed my bad and got up. "Where are you going?" He asked looking at me.
"I'm going outside to wait, bye."
I walked outside and waited in the cold for the bus and soon everybody else came outside too.
I was standing there when I felt two arms wrap around my waist and a head rest on my shoulder. I looked over to see him and we smiled at each other. "What are you doing?" I asked smiling at him. "I'm hugging you to keep you warm and because I want to." He smiled at me and I could feel butterflies in my stomach. I realized in that moment how close our faces were and he was just looking at me. I turned my head and then he came around and hugged me from the front. "Kaden let me go you can't hug me." He moved his head from the crook of my neck and smiled at me. "Why not?"  He slide his hands down my arms to my hands and held them. His touch was electrifying to me and I loved when he held my hand or hugged me. "You can't do that here."
He laughed and looked away for a second then back at me. "Oh Amber you're so good always following rules, but I guess that's why I love you." The bus pulled up in that minute and he let go of my hands and we headed to the bus. I got on and put my headphones in and let the music take me away.

We arrived back at our school and it was letting out in 15 minutes so I made my way to our usual spot and waited for him. I waited for 5 minutes and he finally showed up and ran to me dropping his things on the ground. He wrapped me up in a hug and just held me like that. I felt so happy in that moment and I wasn't afraid to say that he could make my day just talking to me. He let go and backed up and we talked and flirted for those last couple of minutes. I looked at my phone and I sadly only had 3 more minutes left with him. The hallways were getting a little busy and Kaden pulled me a little closer to him. "Hey, move my bag over with your foot so no one trips." I moved his bag over and he started laughing. "Why are you laughing?" I smiled.
"You just moved my bag over like you were doing a drug deal or something." I laughed and we were soon both laughing. We hadn't noticed how touchy we were being till a group of guys walked by and started making noises.
The bell rang and we said our goodbyes and I left.

The bell brought me out of my thoughts and I grabbed my stuff and headed to my next class which was in another building. I got to my class just in time and I felt even more depressed then before, but I couldn't show it. After an hour and a half long of boring math I headed to my last class of the day.
I walked in and the desk were put into threes and assigned. I found my seat and saw he was at my table and I was so dreading this, but at the same time I hoped he would talk to me.
The whole class I waited for him to talk to me and he didn't. I felt so stupid for believing his words and I was only heartbroken. He wouldn't even look at me which hurt even more and what hurt the most was that he seemed just fine and I was over here heartbroken.
The bell rang and I left to go home and as lI made my way home negative thoughts clouded my head. He wouldn't even care if I moved away or anybody at that school for a fact. Nobody would even notice if I disappeared.