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*The first two chapters consisting of a trailer and notes really shows you can interact with readers. The note chapter especially illustrates your acknowledgment (and wish) for growth as a writer.
*The use of GIFs and asterisk-like actions (such as *fangirl squeals* and *finger guns*) highlights more positive reader/writer interaction.
*nods*
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*As for chapter one, I love love how it starts off with a dictionary term. It's a clever way to set the tone.
*However, I was unsure of what you meant by "Please read the author's note". Is it meant to warn the reader that there may be grammar/plot inconsistencies? Maybe you can re-word for clarity, such as "Please read the note chapter before beginning..."
*Using caps and bold for the first three words of the chapter is eye-catching, nice!
*And whoa, the first sentence is kiss-a-riffic, and makes me want to read more!
*Kinda jealous about your present-tense narrative skills, as I've yet to master it.
*In the third paragraph, you mention Nick "trailing kisses", and then in paragraph four, "Nick trails his fingertips". Strive to vary word usage.
*I'm a fan of alliteration, and so this sentence really caught me:
"...slow designs as our lips move together in sloppy sync."
*In paragraph five, I suggest starting a new paragraph after "I smile at him." Whenever a line of dialogue (perhaps paired with a character action) ends, start a new paragraph.
*Explaining the main character's reasoning for the hook-up pulls me into the story further. I'm intrigued by her need for casual sex, and her implied resentment for her father.
*The fact that you imply the sexual actions without having to divulge further works well for this scene.
*In the paragraph starting with "When I leave Nick's house", consider deleting "that" from the last sentence, as it might read better without it:
Current- "I frown when I get a news alert in angry red letters that flash on the screen."
Revised- "I frown when I get a news alert in angry red letters flash[ing] on the screen."
*Your mention of The Republic and "disease" are the perfect hints to keep the reader going.
*On the paragraph starting with "When I get home, I see my mother", consider changing a word in the last sentence to a showy verb that will catch the reader's attention:
"A floral apron is tied [consider switching this word out for 'fashioned'] around her waist."
*Look to cut the fat wherever possible. For example:
Current- "Her eyes are wide and darting around, and her cheeks are flushed with worry. Her skin looks pale and taut."
Revised- "Her eyes are darting around, cheeks flushed, skin pale and taut."
*Often, emotions are implied when you mention a character's actions. Remember to show and not tell, as you do for most of the chapter anyway. For example, consider deleting "in confusion" in the following sentence, as the frown denotes confusion:
"I frown in confusion, but decide not to push it."
*Oh, poor little Amelia! I wanna take care of her, too :-(
*Consider condensing for clarity:
Current: "My eyes drop to her hands, where blood stains her fingernails."
Revised: "My eyes drop her blood-stained fingernails."
*Omg, Amelia...?!
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*Hmm, okay, disease, violent death, the mom is blaming herself...incredibly interesting. Very zombie-esque!
From the way you've set up the main character and story-tension in the first chapter, I'm definitely adding Resilient to my reading list!
