fair/unfair

06.

       Reid can't remember the last time a girl had been in his house.

       Grace hardly counted herself, and it's not like he ever took up any of the offers the girls sent him in his Twitter messages, so he wasn't entirely sure what the protocol was here. He stood awkwardly off the side as the girl wandered around his living room. Slender fingers trailed the mantel, ocassionally plucking a picture frame off the surface to squint at. Moving from the fireplace, she started thumbing through the bookshelf, humming when she saw something that piqued her interest.

       Then, she moved to the movie collection, and then to the fifty pound fish tank off in the corner, and then she stopped at the wilted houseplants, clucking her tongue. It was borderline invasive, like she was searching for something Reid wasn't supposed to have, but he wasn't a fucking idiot. He didn't just leave his drugs hanging around. He lived with a police officer, for fuck's sake.

       "You done yet?" Reid finally asked, after she took a turn and settled her gaze back on him.

       This whole thing had to have been some kind of joke. She was so tiny, almost an entire head shorter than he was, and her faint features suggested she was Asian. Even her clothes could've been described as business casual, heavy emphasis on the casual. Skinny jeans, a white blouse with a collar at the nape, and her feet tucked into plain black heels. She couldn't have been but a couple of years older than him.

       His last probation officer wasn't a day younger than fifty.

       "Seems you've hid all the drugs," she commented, strangely disappointed. "That's no fun. Maybe I'll get the K-9 units to come out here; I love the dogs. I mean, they're vicious and they'll probably tear your ass right up, but when they're not on the job, they're sweet as can be. Is Jordan here?"

       "Ah, the prodigal son prevails." Reid started towards the kitchen, and his probation officer —Blaire, as she insisted he call her —followed after him. "If you mean, Jay, he's my less attractive older brother. What's it to you? Did he pull you over for going a mile over the speed limit, or somethin'?"

       Reid half-turned to catch her answer and was amused to see she was mouthing the word Jay. Guess he just went by Officer Patton on the force. Blaire caught him looking and flushed brilliantly, red seeping into every inch of her skin. "No, ha!" She waved her hand, as if to say don't be silly! "Nothing of the sort. Not that it matters it would be totally inappropriate."

       There was a question there, but Reid didn't care enough to ask it.

       "How long is this going to take?" he asked, sitting down at the kitchen table. Blaire sat across from him and started digging into her shoulder bag disguised as a filing cabinet. Eventually, she pulled out a manila folder and flopped it open. Reid, noticing how thick the file was, slumped back into his chair.

       "Depends." She clasped her hands together in front of her, leveling Reid with a pointed look. "What can I expect from you?"

       Reid ticked the items off his fingers. "Sarcasm, self-deprecating jokes, probably an inappropriate amount of good looks and sexual humor."

       To her credit, Blaire looked unfazed. "What kind of drugs should I be testing you for?"

       He shrugged. "Pot. Oxy's when I got 'em."

       Blaire scrawled this down inside her file, tucking her black hair behind her ear. "Alcohol?"

       "Sure, if you're buying."