Chapter one
•Twenty three days before•
"Alaska!" They screamed in my face. I was laughing too hard to be able to answer them. Their yelling voices faded and I was focused on my own smiles and movements. My breathing was at a fast pace but that was most likely because of the silliness I was enduring.
I didn't remember who the people were. One woman looked like me. Her dirty golden hair was thrown into a pony tail and her eyes were large and brown. I tried to feel my own face to see the similarities but her and the man were pinning me down.
"Stop laughing!" The man warned. "Act your fucking age! Can't you see we're trying to help you!"
•Nineteen days before•
"Alaska, you're getting worse." My mother warned. Her hair was down which framed her face. She was beautiful in natural ways that most girls would kill to have.
"I don't know what you mean." I twirled the ends of my hair and tapped my toe to the music inside my head.
"You're illness, Alaska. Your father and I don't know what to do with you anymore. We're trying to help but it's hard." She was crying now.
Don't listen to her, Alaska. The voices slurred. She is trying to make your life worse. Listen to us, Alaska. Just listen.
"They told me not to listen to you."
"They who?" She was yelling. "I just want my baby girl back and you don't even seem to care that you're fucking crazy!"
You're not crazy Alaska.
"They told me I wasn't crazy."
•Eleven days before•
"Neverland," I repeated. "Neverland like where Peter Pan lives?"
Yes.
"How do I find it?"
You'll know once you get there, Alaska. You'll get this feeling that is indescribable. You will know.
"Are you sure?"
Positive.
"How l-" a loud banging followed by yells went off. I covered my ears. The noise was too loud.
I screamed.
•Seven days before•
"I'm not crazy." I told the man. He was staring me up and down. It made me feel uncomfortable. "Stop looking at me."
He lowered his glasses down onto his nose.
He looks like a goof ball. Ha!
I laughed. "I know, right?"
The man glanced at me and then to a clipboard. He cleared his throat. "Insomnia, talking to voices in your head, random outburst of laughing," he continued to list words but I didn't follow him because he was boring. "It says here you cut yourself?"
I nodded. "They tell me it will relieve the pain."
"Who tells you that?"
I shrugged. "They do."
"They who?"
I blew a piece of hair out of my face. "The voices."
He scribbled on the paper and chewed on the inside of his cheek. I tried the same and it was like chewing taffy. I tasted blood now. Blood is a beautiful taste.
"I'm going to discuss with your parents and hopefully get you checked in to an asylum."
Asylums are for crazy people.
"I'm not crazy though!" I said to them. "Why would he even suggest that?"
"It'll be good for you, Alaska. Your parents want what's best for you and checking in to an asylum would be just that."
"I don't need help." I spat between my teeth. "I'm perfectly fine. Who gives a rats ass what people think about me? Ha! I only give a fuck about myself. Don't fucking tell me that I'm - that I'm crazy!"
"I never said you were crazy, Alaska."
I laughed. "But you were thinking it. Oh, but you were thinking it."
•Three days before•
"You're parents decided to send you to Australia. The program there is really extraordinary and most of the time the residents leave heathy and tamed. It'll be different, Alaska. Some of the people there are dangerous though." The man was talking but I wasn't listening. He kept rambling and rambling blah blah blah who even gives a fuck?
"I'm not going." I simply stated.
"It's not your decision."
"I'm not crazy!" I yelled. "I'm not crazy." My voice cracked and became softer.
•One day before•
"Get some sleep," My mother said, popping her head into my room. "Flight leaves early tomorrow." She closed the door and then left my dark room.
How do you feel?
"Sad." I admit.
Let your pain out, Alaska. Show the world how sad you are.
I got up from my small bed and went into the bathroom that was attached to my bedroom. My blade was on the sink right where I left it. Dark crusted blood was on the cool metal. I picked it up and turned it in my hands.
Do it.
I pressed the blade to my wrist. The blade was the paint brush and my skin was the canvas. Blood came rushing out. It's a nice color, blood. It's dark and screamed death. I love it.
I watched the blood poor out of me and smiled. It was so beautiful.
•The day of•
"Ready to go?" My father asked. We were in front of the gate I needed to board. I could always just not get onto the plane. It would be easy seeing that nobody is coming along with me. However, something is calling me.
"Nope." I replied.
"Once you reach Australia, a nice woman will pick you up. You'll go with her ok? Do you understand?"
"Dad, I'm not five."
My parents brought me into an embrace.
"Get well, darling." My mom was crying again. She cries a fucking lot.
A/N: this is kinda weird but it's like an insider to Alaska before she arrives idek so the next chapter is like the first chapter but this is really the first chapter??? Do I even make sense??? No???
The italics are the voices inside her head
Anyways, I got 600 followers so I'm updating this story now :) thank you so much
I hope you like this,
Sam xx
