Chapter 15
ALASKA
The backyard was absolutely breathtaking. I feel as if I haven't been outside in a very long time, which is relatively true. When I lived in Boston, I use to always go to the park. It was nice there and nobody seemed to mind me. I did my thing and they did theirs; it was peaceful.
The park was sort of like my sanctuary or my oasis and whenever I was there, I didn't have to worry about anything except my own peace.
With Luke right now, I feel like I'm back at the park where I grew up. Everything felt so right and I didn't want to leave this moment for anything. However, all dreams come do an end and I know this one will soon die. Besides, we're not suppose to be out here. Not that I'm against breaking rules, because rules are made to be broken, but simply because I do not want to end up in the cell again. I didn't mind being there with Luke, but the ground hurt my ass.
Luke taking me here definitely made up for Amethyst's death. It was sudden and unexpected and I wasn't prepared to find her there hanging from the hook that held the single lightbulb in our room. Amethyst was the closest person in my whole life that I could call a friend, and now that she's gone I feel a bit more lost. Amethyst and I were lost boys and now that I have Luke, my Peter Pan, I'm not so lost anymore.
It was Luke's birthday and I wish I new beforehand. I could have made him a card or a cake, but now he has nothing. Not a birthday party, presents to open up, he has nothing. Who would want nothing for their birthday? Certainly not me.
When I was a child, my birthday was the most fun time in the year. My parents would spoil me with gifts and treat me to whatever I want and it was amazing. Even as a kid, I knew they were doing it out of sympathy; however, I didn't care. If they wanted to spoil me for being so called crazy, then they could do so.
But for Luke, I knew it was most likely different. He lost his parents at a young age and birthdays were probably sentimental to him when they were alive. After they died, I imagine Luke not being as excited for the day.
Running away. It's something I've always dreamed of doing, and now it's finally going to be possible. I've always imagined getting away from my life and going somewhere far away where I could be alone. I realize it's not always a good idea to run away from your problems, but it seems like the only solution for myself. My whole life I've been called names and treated like a bag of shit and if I ran away I could be myself with people who don't know my story. Running away could give me a new start. A new Alaska is just what I need.
A new me. Do I want to change who I am? I'm not particularly fond of who I am, but it's a touchy subject to think about change. Luke seems to like me, but do I like myself?
No. You hate yourself. Why would you even like yourself? You're a piece of shit, Alaska.
I ignored the voices in my head. It's been hard, but I'm getting better at pushing them aside. I'm beginning to realize that the people, or whatever that talks to me, is not real. Voices are just something that I imagine for whatever reason, and I'm finally ready to let them go.
"Alaska?" Luke inquired.
"Mmm?"
"You dozed off." He pulled me closer to his embrace and placed a kiss on the too of my head.
I blinked. "Did I?"
"Yes, yeah you did. I um, was just wondering if you'd like to be my girlfriend? Maybe. I mean, if you want to? You don't have to if you d-"
"I'd love to." I cut him off.
Luke smiled a genuine smile and it was probably the largest smile I've ever seen him wear. I've never had a boyfriend before, so Luke is my first. Growing up, boys always avoided me like I was some disease. Boys were flies, I was bug spray and they sure did stay away. I guess I didn't care. My mother always told me I didn't need a boy in my life to be happy, but I thought I did. All the girls in my school had boyfriends except me, which made me feel left out. Throughout high school, everyone hated me. I'm not sure why, but they did and it made me feel like crap.
This past month, I haven't felt like crap. I'm myself and Luke excepts that, which is one of the many reasons why I think I love him.
Love. What's such a small word has such a large meaning. Thinking back if I've ever experienced love before, I'd have to say no. No, I have never loved. Not my parents, nor friends, nor the voices that ran my mind. Love was not a word in my vocabulary until this day.
I love Luke.
I love Luke like the moon loves the surrounding stars and the sun loves all the planets in our solar system. I love Luke more than Romeo and Juliet, Cinderella and Prince Charming, and all the fairy tales out there. I love him more than Dan loves whacking off and Mira her doll. I love him more than a mommy bird loves her babies and more than a young boy loves his baseball glove. I love him more than the world, than myself, than anything.
I love Luke.
I looked into his ocean orbs and he into mine and I felt like we were the only people in the world. In that moment, I forgot about the asylum, Amethyst's suicide, my old life back home, I forgot about everything. The only think relevant was Luke and I in the moment.
"We should head back inside," Luke said, breaking the silence that was held between us. "we don't want to be in the cell again, now do we?"
I smirked. "I wouldn't mind."
We got up from the bench and made our way through the back door without anyone noticing. Everything was back to normal, except now I'm able to call Luke mine.
"So, where are we running away to?" I inquired.
"To Neverland, where else?"
-
A/N: it's been ten thousand weeks since I updated I'm sorry :( I rushed this chapter a bit and it's kinda short uck
bUT I MADE UP FOR THE LONG UPDATE BC LUKE AND ALASKA ARE TOGWTHWRNSJSJS LASKA??? IDEK THEIR SHIP NAME HALP
do you think luke and alaska will be able to run away or nah?
please comment :) I love seeing what you all have to say
stay young,
sam
