My Everything - Jikook Non-au Fanfiction

7. Struggles

Jimin was a perfectionist. Right from the start, Jeongguk could tell Jimin didn't settle for good; he wanted more. Which is why he was often the last to stay in the practice room, the only one to constantly watch music videos on his phone, and the one person among the members who always asked to run through the song they practiced just one more time. Jeongguk knew Jimin was tired a lot, and on top of all else Jimin also worked out and barely ate - always on a diet, it seemed. His dedication was inspiring, but worrying. Jeongguk took it upon himself to try to stop Jimin when it all became too much, when he needed to sleep, when he needed to eat something. If someone could get Jimin to do something, it was Jeongguk. The others tried, sometimes succeeding, but often Jimin managed to persuade them to let him be. Not Jeongguk. He might not be good with words, but he was stubborn, and his hyung didn't seem to take as good care of himself as he cared for others. Jeongguk felt like maybe, just maybe, this was his way of being able to show how much he cared, since he didn't seem to be able to show his hyungs with words what they meant to him. 

"Jimin-hyung?" Jeongguk opened the door to the practice room. It was a late night, autumn 2014. Jeongguk had started thinking about going to bed when he'd realized one specific hyung was missing from the dorm. As usual, he took it upon himself to drag Jimin back from torturing himself. As he walked into the practice room, he did indeed find the older boy dancing his heart out in front of the mirror covering the wall. He hadn't noticed him, too focused on his dancing.

Jeongguk leaned against a wall, waiting for the song to finish. No matter how many times he watched his hyung dance, it never failed to impress him. While Hobi-hyung was the most experienced, technically advanced dancer, Jeongguk found Jimin to be the most fluid. His movements resembled that of water, and Jeongguk would never understand why Jimin was so hard on himself. His dancing was always praised, people couldn't keep their eyes off him, a feat even Hobi-hyung couldn't always achieve. Jeongguk wished he could tell the older boy all this, but he knew if he tried, it would just come out wrong. Better stay quiet.

"Guk-ah?" Jimin's voice broke Jeongguk from his thoughts. Jimin was standing just a few feet away, having moved closer to the maknae after the song finished and he finally noticed his presence. Jeongguk met his hyung's curious gaze, and smiled a bit.
"Sorry. Zoned out," he explained.
Jimin's frown softened, and he smiled fondly at his dongsaeng.
"What are you doing here, Jeongguk-ah?" he asked curiously.
"Do you know what time it is?" Jeongguk asked cheekily. Jimin chuckled, shaking his head.
"This brat," he said, looking at Jeongguk's teasing smile.
"Come back to the dorm, hyung," he said, becoming serious in an instant. Jimin stopped chuckling.
"In a while. I'm not done yet, Guk-ah,"
"Are you kidding me, hyung," Jeongguk raised his brows. "What can you possibly have to work on right now?"
"A lot of things, Jeongguk-ah," Jimin frowned again. "Not all of us are Golden maknaes, you know,"
Jeongguk gaped slightly. Did Jimin compare himself to others to this degree? To him?
"I'm not perfect, hyung, I need just as much practice as everyone else does," he said, trying to put Jimin at ease. It didn't work. Jimin, usually patient and soft Jimin, snorted and turned his back on the maknae. He walked away from him, over to the mirror, where he picked up his water bottle, and drank. Jeongguk knew Jimin was done with their short conversation. For some reason, his words had upset his small hyung.
"Please come back soon. This isn't healthy, and we have a schedule tomorrow."
Jeongguk left the room, letting the door fall shut behind him. Jimin looked up at himself in the mirror. He sighed.
"You're perfect to me, Jeongguk." he murmured.

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It had been a few days. Jimin was pretending as if what happened in the practice room hadn't happened, he was back to his normal, happy self. Maybe he was a bit less affectionate towards Jeongguk, but at least it didn't show on camera. Jeongguk was happy about that - they didn't need ARMY to worry on top of everything. It would have been obvious that something had happened if he and Jimin suddenly didn't interact. Jeongguk was trying to not let Jimin's lack of attention towards him at home get to him too much. He didn't avoid him, he just kept his distance a bit. While uncommon for Jimin, it didn't change the group dynamics in any way, so Jeongguk ignored it. He wasn't lacking physical touch anyway - Taehyung and Hoseok gave more than enough hugs for him. He only let them be so touchy-feely because he knew it made them happy - he usually wasn't very comfortable with physical contact. 

"Jimin-hyung?"
It was Thursday. They still had a few hours left until bed, so Jeongguk was doing homework. Jeongguk was good in school, he worked hard and he learned easily. But even he needed help, and his hyungs were good teachers. Since all of them were older than him, they'd all already been taught this stuff. Jeongguk normally asked Namjoon or Seokjin for help, seeing as Namjoon had a very high IQ, and Jin was so motherly. It felt right to ask them, natural. They were like his parents, in a way. But Jeongguk was missing Jimin-hyung.
"Yes, Jeongguk-ah," answered Jimin, who was laying on the couch in the living room, scrolling on his phone.
"Could you help me with maths, hyung?"
Jimin put his phone down, and looked up at the maknae, frowning a bit.
"Why me? You know Joonie-hyung is better at maths than I am," he questioned.
"Do you not want to help me, hyung?" asked Jeongguk, sadly.
Jimin melted. His dongsaeng looked a bit pitiful like that, and he didn't mean to upset him.
"Of course not, Jeongguk-ah. I was just surprised, is all. You don't often ask me for help. Come here," he patted the seat on the couch next to him, sitting up at the same time. Jeongguk hurriedly sat down next to him, sighing in relief as he put his work book down on the table.
"We haven't really hung out lately, hyung," Jeongguk said, as an explanation.
"Who's fault is that?" said Jimin, masking the slight hurt in his voice with a broad smile and a teasing tone. Jeongguk nodded, sighing again.
"That's fair," he said.
"You've been playing video games with Tae so much that I was beginning to think you didn't know us other members existed," Jimin joked.
"Sorry, hyung, I didn't -" Jeongguk tried to explain.
"Jeongguk-ah. It's okay," Jimin interrupted. "Come on, let's see what you've got,"
And they spent the next hour working on Jeongguk's homework together.

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Everything had eventually returned to almost the same place it was before the altercation. Jimin was still as affectionate as ever, and Jeongguk was relieved that it didn't seem as if Jimin was angry at him, not at all. Jeongguk was glad his happy hyung was back and, considering their busy schedule, the group as a whole benefited as well. Of course, what with living together, being as close as brothers all seven of them, and spending all of their time together on and off camera, Jeongguk supposed that it would have been very hard for Jimin to even attempt to avoid and stay mad at him. 

End of the year performances was soon over and done with, and then it was a new year. 2015. Jeongguk thought it was exciting, so much new things to discover and explore, new music to create, new choreographies to learn. And all along with his hyungs, who meant so much to him. Jeongguk felt so lucky to be part of such a caring group of people.

A/N: a little indication at where Jimin is at in all of this... Hope you liked it! Also, I put off on putting this chapter up because it is the last one I have finished. I have some parts of the 8th chapter written, but I am far from done. I have a lot going on, work, voting, etc. And the motivation is somewhat lacking, especially since I want to follow BTS' timeline with this. Anyway, now you know :)